UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
Two Minutes, Well Worth It

I Am Not Actually Supposed To Care That The Baseballs Are Quite Obviously Being Juiced, Right?

10/30/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture

Game 5 was one for the ages ⚾️□ #WorldSeries pic.twitter.com/GdxJyOiiNQ

— Whistle Sports (@WhistleSports) October 30, 2017

Have we all come to grips with donating any semblance of a respectable sleep cycle to an absolute marathon of a baseball game that somewhat miraculously maintained it's entertainment value throughout all 5+ hours? If you've got any puns about 'Minute Maid Park' and juiced balls remaining in the chamber of your drafts then shoot them off into their saturated online market, because I have a half serious question to get to. 

Am I supposed to give a shit that the balls have obviously been altered?

I can see why the relievers whose dream states have been transformed into nightmares with the replacement of sheep by the balls they've been traumatized into counting as they fly overhead might not be ecstatic about the dangers of any sort of solid contact being ripe for the warning track. But for the casual fan? Doing the equivalent of pumping the balls full of 'Jolt Cola' seems like quite the compromise between boring pitcher's duels and being completely steroid fueled.

​Let's face it, with it's dwindling popularity, baseball needs to cater to more than the cranky curmudgeons that call themselves "purists", and there's nothing your average, every day asshole of a sports fan loves more than home runs. It's either a biologically masculine mindset or an inherently millennial temperament, but - either way - my attention can't span for 5 hours unless it's being propped up by the increased likelihood of man hitting projectile hundreds of feet into the distance. It's entirely possible I have spent more time focused on baseball games throughout this series than I have in the last decade combined, and that has everything to do with how often the game script has been flipped with nothing more than one swing.

Now admittedly, splicing the genetics of a golf ball and a racquetball in with the DNA of baseball taints the integrity of the game, but - for once - that tainted integrity doesn't create a competitive advantage. Juiced balls might cheat the numbers, but they don't cheat the fans or the players.

Those that live and die with 'Major League Baseball' might not agree with a process that's become insanely accepted regardless of it still technically being hypothetical. However, if it weren't for dingers being hit by the dozen then we would probably still be talking about how the MLB stupidly failed to suspend a player for a public display of abject racism, so maybe having inanimate objects bursting at the seems with steroids of sorts might actually be good for the game. Baseball needed a metaphorical needle in the ass, so let's just be happy that it's no longer coming in the form of a literal needle in the ass.  
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Dumbest-of-the-stupid
    Footy Fisticuffs Etc
    Hardball
    Hoops
    Jersey's Team
    Pigskin
    Pop Cultured
    Puck
    Scarlet-knights
    Who Dat Nation

    Archives

    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy