I Am NOT Okay With Cory Schneider Taking Batting Practice With The Boston Red Sox

ICYMI: Cory Schneider lived a childhood dream today by taking batting practice with the Boston @RedSox! ⚾️⚾️ pic.twitter.com/akNh6toHfH

— New Jersey Devils (@NHLDevils) July 30, 2015

Hey Boston, get your own fucking franchise player! It's not my fault you guys can't figure out how to play semi-coherent baseball during seasons when you aren't winning the World Series. Doesn't mean you should be rolling out the red carpet for the Devils only chance of being relatively relevant this season. Sure, it's cool that Cory gets to live his dream of taking batting practice at Fenway Park, but let's reel it in a little bit. Giving him his own locker and equipment bag? Embroidering an authentic jersey for him? Letting him meet and fraternize with the players? This wasn't just done as favor to one of the best goaltenders in the entire NHL, that would be way too nice of a gesture for a team as bad as the Red Sox. This was a recruiting ploy. 

You see those cuts? You mean to tell Cory can't excel playing small ball and defending the plate? I can say without a doubt he would lead the league in seeing-eye singles and have the best positioning of any catcher in the league. There would be no such thing as a wild pitch. With the talent currently on the Red Sox roster, Schneider would be the closest thing they had to a 5 tool player. So don't tell me that visit wasn't granted with an ulterior motive in mind. Not when he has the prettiest swing that batter's box has seen since their last pennant race. What's the procedure for filing inter-league tampering charges? The Devils already had a star player, that they gave a massive contract to, bolt to an inferior league for a superior paycheck, and I'll be damned if I will sit idly by and watch it happen again. That pale, Irish ginger may fit in great in Beantown, but he fits perfectly between the pipes in New Jersey. Save the grandious meetings and pissing contests for the next overrated Japanese pitcher that hits the market. What do you think this is, NBA free agency?!? That's my goalie, and I will die before I Iet him go full Masshole, no matter how much he could improve that train wreck of a team.