I Applaud Russell Wilson For Copying His Description Of Ciara's Beauty From Google Search results

PM #WCW I kissed her & she had honey sweet lips that were lilac soft w/ a loving & affectionate personality @Ciara pic.twitter.com/qwxXkfWnCK

— Russell Wilson (@DangeRussWilson) January 28, 2016

oh no pic.twitter.com/kpSw16wJHO

— Natalie (@natalieweiner) January 28, 2016

Yeah, and? If Russell Wilson was smart he would just admit it. Mostly because there is no way around it. No man that doesn't pride himself on his poetry is coming up with "honey sweet lips that were lilac soft". That phrase is so overly descriptive and off-the-wall that no person -not named Billy Shakespeare- could just happen to randomly piece it together. Russell Wilson is an NFL quarterback, not a goddamn literary love composer. Of course he Googled the proper way to describe a women's beauty. He throws touchdown passes for a living. He doesn't write erotic fan fiction. That's not his occupation -and therefore probably not a part of his particular skillset- so that's why it makes perfect sense that he enlisted the help of a search engine. That's what search engines are for; To teach you how to do shit that you don't know how to do. Whether that be cooking a certain type of food, doing some form of manual labor around the house, trying to sound mildly literate on your blog, or being nauseatingly corny with your girlfriend on Twitter.

Ciara should feel special. When I absolutely have to get something done the right way my first stop is Google. Russell Wilson just wanted to find the most complimentary way to express Ciara's beauty and -according to Google- comparing her lips to condiments and flowers was the perfect way to do so. Search results don't lie. If you can't trust the internet then who can you trust? I think he should be commended for coming up with the "loving and affectionate personality" part all by himself. He took something he found online and made it his own. If I can't respect that then my website wouldn't even exist. 

P.S. Super, suuuuuuper weird move for this chick to read a Russell Wilson tweet and instinctually try to bust him for plagiarism. Might be time to get a hobby Natalie Weiner. Ya know, other then online stalking some celibate celebrity couple...