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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

I Can't Believe It Took This Long For Budweiser To Change It's Name To 'America'

5/10/2016

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USA Today-  Anheuser-Busch announced Tuesday that the company is replacing the Budweiser logo with “America” on its 12-oz. cans and bottles this summer.

The cans of patriotic nectar will be available May 23 through the November election and aim “to inspire drinkers to celebrate America and Budweiser's shared values of freedom and authenticity.”

The company is no stranger to American-themed summer cans, which have been transformed into American flags and featured the Statue of Liberty in the past. This year, the cans and bottles will try to stir American pride with lines from the Pledge of Allegiance and lyrics from The Star Spangled Banner and America the Beautiful. 

Apparently, the Belgium-based megabrewer, which owns more than 200 brands globally, including Corona and Stella Artois, knows the way straight to our checkbooks. Throw some America on it!


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America? America! How the hell was AMERICA not taken?! How are these advertising people still employed?  That's the most obvious marketing maneuver ever. I am impressed that Budweiser thought of it, but I am more fascinated by everybody else's inability to do so first. A fucking America logo. So simple. So genius. Budweiser is going to make money hand over fist. Slap 'America' on literally ANYTHING two months before or two months after 4th of July and people will buy it without even realizing they bought it. They'll just get home with bag full of red, white, and blue shit with no memory of how it even got there. If there's one thing I know it's that people love being guilted into doing things out of Patriotism, and there's no guiltier pleasure than drinking a shit ton of tasteless domestic beer during the summer months.

Hey Coors Light...see ya never! Hope that 'Silver Bullet' does international travel. Miller Time? Miller's time is UP! Budweiser just made it so that any person buying cost efficient beer that you can guzzle by the case that doesn't choose their product is basically a communist. It couldn't be easier to see through what they are trying to do, and I'll still be scooping 30 packs of 'America' on my way to every BBQ I go to. Sure, I'll still have a 6er of something I can sip and actually enjoy on the side, but when it comes to sitting in the sun and boozing in bulk I'm a true American. You simply can't make that Declaration of Independence unless you're holding an ice cold can that says 'America' across the front and has lines from the 'Star Spangled Banner' etched across the back. Better get your flag waving and binge drinking in now, because there's a reason this promotion ends after the election, and it's because we might not be so proud once someone else takes office.

P.S. The only business they could possibly lose is business outside the country, and if you're a foreigner that didn't already know that Budweiser is American (despite being Belgian brewed) than you don't deserve our mediocre, mass produced beer. 

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