I'm back! I'm back in on dunk contests! Okay fine, I guess I am really only back in on junior college players showing up at summer camps and trying to dunk over an entire classroom of kids, but I'm back regardless! I thought the Zack Lavine/Aaron Gordon showdown during NBA All Star Weekend was the highest possible peak when it came to entertainment value derived from impressive feats of athleticism, but boy was I wrong. This elementary schooler taking a grown man's scrotum to the chin got me off the couch like the most emasculating of 'And 1' Mixtape crossovers. I'm trying to disregard the fact that this poor kid is going to be seeing stars for the next week and a therapist for the next decade, because the second that dick meet head I HOWLED in excitement. I'm going to be perfectly honest, the only reason I feel bad is because I don't at all feel bad. I should be scolding myself for the amount of laughter that involuntarily came from my mouth as I watched this on loop, but this kid is the last in line and he's throwing out salutes and has to be told to turn around? Fuck that. If I were in his position I would have had my knees partially bent just waiting to dodge oncoming testicles. This isn't Vince Carter we are talking about. It's some local JUCO player. You undoubtedly pray for the best, but you absolutely have to be prepared for the worst. That's how you avoid getting put on a poster...