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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

I Don't Believe For A Second That J.R. Smith Sprayed $23,000 Worth Of Champagne The Night The Cavaliers Won The Title

8/3/2016

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J.R. Smith, ladies and gentlemen. pic.twitter.com/VILj1X5e35

— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) June 20, 2016
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According to Lee Jenkins of Sports Illustrated on Tuesday, after the Cavaliers brought the City of Cleveland its first professional sports title in 52 years, Smith celebrated by spraying approximately $23,000 worth of champagne at XS Nightclub in Las Vegas.


I completely understand how dangerous it is to do this with someone as reckless as J.R. Smith, but I am calling bullshit here. I'm sorry, but I absolutely refuse to believe that a man that didn't put on a shirt for a week following Game 7 frivolously dumped out $23,000 worth of champagne during an all nighter celebrating the biggest accomplishment of his life. No way, no how. Honestly, if Lee Jenkins is just going to throw random figures out there the least he could do was make them seem somewhat believable. You expect me to accept that this man sprayed a minimum wage worker's yearly salary on the ground of a crowded Vegas night club...
Picture

For fuck's sake, do you see the glimmer off his skin? Unless the Cleveland Cavaliers are being served 'Andre' to celebrate Cleveland's first championship in over half a century then I estimate that J.R. is wearing at least 5K of bubbly in this picture alone. I watched him pour at least another 5-10K on an unsuspecting hostess during a 30 second clip. I can only imagine the amount of excessive wastefulness that wasn't captured on camera. Conservatively speaking, I would estimate that Earl Joseph pissed away at least 6 figures worth of high end booze. If you told me he actually drank $23,000 of champagne then I have much easier time taking your word for it, but J.R. doesn't do extravagant, unnecessary displays of wealth unless one look at the check is going to have jaws dropping. Swish's gratuitous belligerence tallying up to no more than 23K is as conceivable as any random asshole leaving a respectable bar having only spent $23 during a Saturday night shitshow, which is to simply say that there's no fucking way it happened.


​h/t LBS
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