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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

I Don't Endorse Throwing Dead Rats At Pro Soccer Players, But These Fans May Have Earned The Right To

4/17/2017

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SI- FC Copenhagen and Brondby IF squared off in an important Danish Superliga fixture on Monday. Not only are the two clubs separated by just eight miles, they’re first and second in the Superliga table. So you’d expect things to get pretty heated, but heated enough that fans started throwing dead rats on the field?

The rodent tossing happened as Copenhagen’s Ludwig Augustinsson lined up to take a corner late in the match, which means the fans held onto the rats for the better part of two hours. 

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Truth be told, there's probably no good time to rain deceased rats from the stands towards your favorite team's biggest rival. I know there might be some cultural differences here since international footy fans tend to make American sports fans seem rational, composed, and...well...sober by comparison. Still - even by Denmark's standards - I can't help but feel like tossing dead rats on the field of play makes you an overbearing asshole. Hell, even the ingrates in the foreign, decriminalized territory of Florida have the self respect to limit their projectile vermin to those that are mass produced and made of rubber.

With that said, the level of dedication here is undeniable. I have never had the urge to pocket a rapidly decomposing rat for hours on end in hopes of using it as a sign of disrespect towards the visiting team, and - in the weirdest of ways - it's kind of making me feel like less of a fan. These people are unquestionable social pariahs of the highest order, but they are social pariahs that love their goddamn team enough to lug around animal carcasses for the vast majority of the match. I don't know if that amount of undying loyalty and commitment is enough to earn them the right to litter the pitch with the remains of sewer dwellers, but it's probably as close as they are going to get to justifying their acts of public indecency. They may have inconvenienced the clean up crew, but at least they sacrificed the eternal use of their nostrils to do so. 
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