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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

I Need The Whole Story Behind This Mom That Mixed Up Waka Flocka Flame And Richard Sherman

4/18/2016

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Okay, story time. No more than a month ago I was sitting at a hotel bar in Florida watching a Final Four game and waiting for the rest of the bachelor party I was with to get ready to go out for the night. Anyway, in walks a familiar face and he plops right down next to me. At first I didn't know where I recognized this face from, but when he ordered a water (Spoiler Alert: pretty dedicated athlete) his voice was unmistakable. It was none other than the true star of last year's 'Hard Knocks', Charles James. Now, anyone that watched 'Hard Knocks' knows two things...JJ Watt is a total fucking loser and Charles James accent and style are - in a word - distinct. That's why I was about 95% sure it was him within 30 seconds of him taking a seat. You know how long it took me before I asked him whether he was Charles James? Well, I had a few beers in me (I'm a far less dedicated athlete) so I don't want to make any estimates on time, but it took one Google Image search, 5-6 awkward glances in his direction, and at least two instances of me staring straight ahead questioning my own ability to identify the easily identifiable. Basically I made sure I knew what the answer was before asking Charles James if he was him, telling him I enjoyed the show, and wishing him the best of luck with the rest of his NFL career. Moral of the story? You can't be going around thinking every in-shape black guy is an athlete you know. That's how people end up in viral videos on the internet looking unintentionally racist.

That's why my one question here is whether or not this lady asked Waka Flocka Flame if he was Richard Sherman or if she just flat out called him Richard Sherman. If it was the former then Waka is kind of a dick for expecting some random suburban mom to not only know who he is, but be able to differentiate him from a loudmouth NFL cornerback. However, if it's the latter then this lady's ignorance is only surpassed by her cockiness. We can't have old white women going around assuming that every black guy with dreads and tattoos is the only football player with dreads and tattoos that they know by name, but we also can't have rappers with dreads and tattoos making curious housewives look prejudice every time they incorrectly inquire about a famous black guy with dreads and tattoos. Young black people can't publicly shame old white people unless said old white people are too forward in their speculation. I feel like that's a social contract that is fair for both parties involved. It's also pretty much the only option, because this wasn't all that bad of a guess for a woman that likely calls hip-hop "that damned ghetto music"...

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