Well gee, that certainly seems like a fun locker room environment. Chemistry may be an overrated part of a team dynamic, especially in a sport as individually driven as baseball, but I can't imagine it's fun spending every single day with that cast of characters. Jesus Christ, if looks could kill the Angels would have to hold an expansion draft just to field an entire team. And you know what, I'm not even mad at Weaver. Dude just threw a complete game shutout, as least give him a pie facial or something. You want to know the mark of a shitty clubhouse? When your starting pitcher gets belted in the chest with a full water bottle as part of his celebration. It's all fun and games until someone gets tagged with a water bottle when they aren't looking. It would take quite the spin job to play that off as a silly prank. It's like the one friend that always manages to take it too far. Pegging someone with a solid object while he is being interviewed on live television can certainly be classified as too far.
With that said, if Weaver is going to try to pull off the whole intimidating presence thing we are going to have to get him to a barber shop STAT. Maybe chop off an inch or two of that flow before he goes around mean mugging his teammates. I think I can definitively say that no person has ever felt threatened by a guy with a soul patch. I'm pretty sure that's why you never see an angry surfer. Clean it up a bit Weaver. You can't have a carefree hairstyle and accompany it with an uptight personality. Sure, your teammates kind of suck, bit it could be worse. You could be working at a Ron Jon Surf Shop selling sex wax and bodysuits to a bunch of stoned teenagers. Instead you're racking in millions as a Major League pitcher. It might not be a contractual requirement to avoid physical abuse at the hands of your 'co-workers', but maybe next start just keep your head on a swivel. Save the death stares for the clean up hitter. There's a lot of baseball left. Might be smart to wait until August before you try to pierce an infielder's soul with your eyeballs. That's a whole lot of awkward for 130 more games.