I Think It's About Time We Accept That Secondary Sneaker Companies Are Intentionally Making Ugly Products

Adidas' Brand New, Triple Black 'Harden 1's'

James Harden shoe looks like a fried boot. pic.twitter.com/UlVBI00iVn

— Erick Fernandez (@ErickFernandez) August 24, 2016

7 out of 8 geriatric orthopedists recommend the new James Harden shoe to their patients. pic.twitter.com/GqwXFyyfpS

— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) August 23, 2016

Harden IV "He Gout Game" pic.twitter.com/AUh9m9Oyfd

— Zoo With Roy (@zoowithroy) August 24, 2016

James Harden shoes come in a box that says "SHOES (ONE SIZE FITS ALL)." No logo, nothing. Just that cryptic text. pic.twitter.com/jnxDVeq9nF

— Jordan Pryor (@jordodale) August 24, 2016

Shawshank redemption 12s https://t.co/YJYhjMejws

— Desus Nice (@desusnice) August 24, 2016

James harden really made sneakers for grandpa Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate factory pic.twitter.com/zo8M0vdOoG

— Desus Nice (@desusnice) August 24, 2016

Adidas "Line Cook" 3s pic.twitter.com/QaOlcZ3XFJ

— mike mulloy (@fakemikemulloy) August 23, 2016

Adidas: what you want
Harden: gimme a shoe that looks like a dirty air filter
Adidas: say no more fam pic.twitter.com/g4AN4Wwfop

— Will Thompson (@thrillis4) August 24, 2016

quidditch world cup VIIs pic.twitter.com/Q7vzFoqjcg

— Jeremy Woo (@JeremyWoo) August 24, 2016

Community Service 13s RT @BSO: These are James Harden’s Signature adidas Sneakers (Photos) https://t.co/Hpb6ISjuWu pic.twitter.com/rhr7O7HOpW

— Mr TallDark-Handsome (@RocStarNYC) August 24, 2016

It's pretty rad that L.L. Bean made Harden a shoe. pic.twitter.com/MvHhiqGhlf

— Hoya Suxa (@HoyaSuxa) August 24, 2016

Really crazy James Harden got himself cross sponsorship with Adidas and Harley Davidson. pic.twitter.com/nNoyUY39ln

— Anthony F. Irwin (@AnthonyIrwinLA) August 24, 2016

adidas Harden 1 "Barback Black" https://t.co/iJfsqYLCjx

— max (@MaxRappaport) August 23, 2016

"Children of men dystopian future where civilization done collapsed" 5's pic.twitter.com/EyshkdXkfE

— Desus Nice (@desusnice) August 24, 2016

I don't want to interrupt anyone that's still getting a well deserved crying face emoji out of James Harden's new all purpose industrial shoe. The truth is that they are worth more ridiculously hilarious/hauntingly accurate jokes than even the funniest of Twitter personalities could come up with. I just want acknowledge that as many laughs as they are worth, we won't be getting the last one.

You see, I don't know much about sneaker design but I do know how the internet works. When you're a company like Adidas it's just far easier to make a ridiculously bland shoe that are people are going to mock, criticize, and spend days/weeks talking about online than it is to try to "wow" the public with a product they are already looking to disparage because of it's brand.  Yes, the James Harden's are egregiously boring, but the endless free publicity they are getting absolutely isn't. The truth is that if your are not Jordan or Nike the only way in which to get guarantee yourself a wealth of attention is to put a comically lazy effort into making a grotesque pair of kicks.

Now, how does that translate into sales? I'm not quite sure, but I do know that Under Armour isn't crying into their cereal over the profits they made off the Steph Curry 'Widowed Nurse Airs' that were ruthlessly crucified on the internet. Maybe there are just enough contrarians to make this shoe popular. Maybe there are enough L.L. Bean loyalists, bar backs, motorcycle riders, and quidditch players out there looking for a "refreshing" new line of footwear to boost Adidas' sales. Whatever the case may be, these companies are far too smart to continue to keep putting out ugly sneakers unless it's beneficial to their bottomline. It might be a reflection of the hipster-esque culture we live in, but the fact that everyone hates these shoes will someone make them more sought after than if Adidas actually tried to make something that looked halfway decent.