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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

I Think This "Pump Up Speech" From Kirk Cousins Just Convinced Me THat The Redskins Are Actually Good

10/13/2015

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Good news all around. The good news for Kirk Cousins is after this whole professional football gig flames out he'll still have a job playing Mel Gibson's role in the worst 'Braveheart' parody ever made. The good news for the rest of the Redskins roster is that Kirk Cousins is now off pregame speech duty. The good news for the Redskins fanbase is that if their team can take an undefeated Falcons team to overtime after that sorry excuse for inspiration than there's no telling what they can do with some real motivation. This team overcame the most cringeworthy attempt at public speaking since the last 'Maid of Honor' speech I witnessed and still should have won. Talk about adversity. The Redskins are being led by a guy that I can only assume has to wear a diaper when he talks in front of more than 3 people. A guy that needs the use of space filler claps like 4 seconds into his monologues. That guy is ultimately responsible for leading his football team and, against all odds, they have still managed to win football games.

I'm pretty sure that means that Washington is a quarterback away from being a legitimate contender. Yeah, I know most bad teams can say that, but most bad teams don't a signal caller that stutters when he tries to speak out loud. No wonder their offense falters, every time Kick Cousins tries to call an audible he just stops half a second into it and starts uncontrollably clapping. Seriously, if you replaced Al Pacino in 'Any Given Sunday' with Kirk Cousins than the Sharks would have lost by 8 touchdowns. If Kirk Cousins gave the speech to the Spartans in '300' they would have taken their own lives before they even reached the battlefield. You see those players standing around and glaring at their quarterback with loathsome despair? Those guys are finding ways to be competitive, even as the least excited people to ever step foot on a football field.
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