I Would Have To Recommend Abstaining From Using Harbaugh Quotes To Pick Up Girls On Tinder

Question. You're not totally untraceable on Tinder, right? I'm fairly certain that it links through your Facebook, no? I would have to imagine that if someone needed to reach you for legal reasons it wouldn't take all that much of an investigation to make sure that restraining order got delivered to the right door. I know people say ridiculously despicable shit on Tinder, but it's usually sexual in nature. That's predictable. Not only is using Harbaugh quotes decidedly not, but it resembles the discourse of a legitimate psychopath. I would think that at the point we have reached in the age of the internet a girl would be more receptive to an offer of forced anal than she would be to discussing the perceived dominance of a certain kind of milk. Harbaugh quotes are entertaining, no doubt, but I think the one situation they should be off limits is when you are trying to talk your way into the pants of the fairer sex. I bet Harbaugh quotes would be more proficient in getting you a job in human resources then getting you casual, consensual sex. Harbaugh quotes are probably more effective in negotiating with terrorists than they are in getting laid on short notice. Surely you would come across as a man of supreme confidence, but it would come at the expense of coming across as a serial killer.

​You know how I know that the thoughts of Jim Harbaugh were not at all successful in eliciting any amount of intrigue from this chick? She offered her SnapChat. Nothing says "please don't bother me anymore you lunatic" like a form of social media where you generally aren't guilted into reciprocated contact. 

​h/t YardBarker