I Would Really Appreciate It If Future Hall Of Famers Would Stop Raving About Brandin Cooks

Randy Moss- "With Graham gone, that means a lot more targets are going to be coming his way," Moss said. "Just by looking at his body, it looks like he's ready to take on that challenge. He's a good receiver. I'm not going to call him great. But the sky's the limit."

"He's in a great offense. He's got a great quarterback in Drew Brees. The sky's the limit for whatever he wants to do in this offense, and I think Sean Payton's going to put him in a position to make plays."

Bill Belicheck- “I’m glad we don’t have to play him twice a year, he’s not in our division,” Belichick said, via the New Orleans Times-Picayune. “He’s a really good player.”


Okay, so don't let the title mislead you. Of course I enjoy hearing how good Brandin Cooks is/will be. Saying that I want people to stop talking about it is completely disingenuous. I'm like the girl that spends 3 hours getting dolled up to go out on the town, and the when people compliment her she says "oh, this old thing?". Just like that girl, I actually can't get enough of the compliments, even if they aren't even about me. The problem, however, it that those very same compliments do me no good. Now granted, they weren't made with my feelings in mind, but I'm a narcissistic millenial and everything is about me, even compliments made towards Brandin Cooks. Usually when a young player gets cosigned by a player or coach that has a long history of success in the NFL it is a good thing. It's something that can excite the average fan. Only thing is, I couldn't possibly be more excited about Brandin Cooks than I already was prior to this little week long outing with the Patriots. There's a thin line between confidence and cockiness, and Randy Moss and Bill Belicheck are trying to drop kick me onto the wrong side it. Saying the sky's the limit gives my brain far too many options in terms of expectations. Next thing you know I'll be taking Brandin Cooks #1 overall in my fantasy league and I will feel fantastic about it. I fucking love Brandin Cooks so much that I am able to overlook that is dangerously close to being a Bible thumper. With that said, if this hype machine keeps running I'm going to need to wear two pairs of boxers just to cover up my vulnerability. 

Listen, I don't think Randy Moss is the world's greatest talent evaluator, but he is one of the most talented wide receivers in NFL history. If he's going to start breaking down players on my team I would much rather that he give them a ringing endorsement than some words of indifference. Not to mention, Bill Belicheck swooping in and talking about Cooks like he is his Godfather or something. I don't think he has said that many words regarding one topic in the last decade. He had less to say when he won the fucking SuperBowl like 6 months ago and now all the sudden he's a wordsmith in regards to a wide receiver that isn't even on his roster? Just strikes me as a little odd, but like, in a good way. 

Hey, you couldn't have asked for more out of Brandin Cooks last year. Sure, I was hoping he would have been targeted on more attempts downfield, but that was more of a product of an offensive line that was about as protective as using the pullout method with a Puerto Rican chick. With Graham in Seattle and a completely revamped line up front, Cooks should showcase every skill that has fans and Hall Of Famers alike singing his praises. Either that or his performance in training camp and the preseason thus far is the biggest cock tease of all time. Shock the world Brandin, shock the world.

“@NFL: Brandin Cooks + 28-yard TD = Drew Brees' new WR1 http://t.co/GFDrWuWEc6” @LeahyJim □

— Tanner Remlinger4⃣1⃣ (@TRemlinger) August 16, 2015

“@NFL: .@drewbrees is a 45-yard-TD-throwing monster. #NEvsNO http://t.co/PYvtxxB8dM” to @OSUBeaversFB legend @brandincooks #PlayersMakePlays

— Coach Zak Bigelow (@Coach_BiggsOSU) August 23, 2015