If All Parenting Requires Is Videotaping Your Child Crying Then I Am More Prepared Than I Ever thought

I like to think I am a respectable human being so I am going to skip over all the 'future puck sluts' jokes that are so readily available at the tip of my fingers. Plus, these little girls are adorable and I can appreciate anyone that gets that emotional over sports. That's why it's such a goddamn shame that this is what parenting has become. Good, gooooood. Don't wipe your child's tears and console her. Stick a phone in her face and post it on the internet to live forever in viral lore. Probably won't lead to any mommy issues down the road. I guess that's still better than having daddy issues, am I right!?!? Regardless, is this all parenting is now? I have been selectively acknowledging Jesus after every sexual experience for years because I thought I wasn't fit to be a parent. However, if all it requires is wiping a couple asses and using vulnerable, crying children as clickbait I might just stop using condoms altogether. Anything to expand the blog. Pssssh, people are aways crying that parenting is a full time job. Well, I'm unemployed so I might have to put an application in tonight. Should be the drunkest 'job interview' since Charlie Sheen's last audition. We're going to have to cut this blog short because I am wasting valuable time that could be better spent praying for a boy...


Happy 4th!