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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

If You Soil Yourself In A Restaurant You Probably Shouldn't Give That Restaurant A Negative Yelp! Review

6/2/2016

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Oh my God! She's Yelping from beyond the grave! Someone turn off the WiFi in her casket, because that girl got put in a bodybag the second that the Manager of 'Nick's Riverside Grill' clicked send on a response that accused her of not being potty trained. I don't know the allegation that she turned a happy hour into a bathroom break to be true, but I have no choice but to take his word for it. You don't just say someone crapped themselves unless they crapped themselves. Hell, even if you were to do that you would save it for a more damning criticism than overcharging someone by one drink. If you are going to fabricate a story about someone losing control of any and all body functions in your restaurant than it better get busted out when the review in question could actually sink your business, because that's a claim you can only make once. Start declaring that every person that gave you under 2 stars dropped heat in your dining room and you go from the victim to 'the restaurant that cried feces' rather quickly. Sorry Liz, but due to the outlandishness of the counterclaim I am going to have to assume that you are in dire need of diapers, and no amount of capitalized legal jargon is going to change my mind. Maybe next time keep your opinion to yourself, because full service bar doesn't mean they accept responsibility for wiping your ass too.



h/t Metro
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