If You Still Care About Deflategate I Got A Rope And a ceiling Fan I would Like To Lend You
USA Today- An investigation into the so-called Deflategatescandal concluded it is more likely than not that New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady "was at least generally aware of the inappropriate activities" by two team employees that resulted in balls being deflated in January's AFC Championship Game against the Indianapolis Colts.
The report, released Wednesday by attorney Ted Wells, found "it is more probable than not that Jim McNally and John Jastremski participated in a deliberate plan to circumvent the rules by releasing air from Patriots game balls," but found no wrongdoing by Patriots ownership, coach Bill Belichick and his assistants, or equipment manager Dave Schoenfeld.
Patriots owner Robert Kraft issued an immediate response, saying the organization is disappointed by the report, which lacked "any incontrovertible or hard evidence of deliberate deflation of footballs" after a more than three-month investigation.
First of all let's talk about Ted Wells. You know, the man that had to write 240 PAGES on a quarter of an ounce of air pressure in a football. If that doesn't have you walking the ledge I don't know what will. An entire thesis on a missing pump of air that made zero difference in a football game that had a 30+ point deferential? I'd rather illustrate a picture book on the contraction of sexual transmitted diseases. I really mean this. If you have spent more than 5 seconds upset about the supposed deflating of footballs this week then you need a hobby. And by hobby I mean jumping out of planes without a parachute or scaling cliffs without a safety harness. You, my friend, clearly don't add anything to society and should probably cease to exist.
I don't care if Tom Brady texted the ball boy and said "yo, help a brother out, drain my balls and I'll drain yours". I didn't care about it when it happened and I sure as shit don't care about it now. That was a story for the week before media day. Just a story for the NFL to stay relevant when nothing else was going on. The fact that a man has spent the last few months investigating it is beyond comprehension. Nice try NFL, but we don't care. You already suckered us in once with this very story. I realize that your moment in the Spring sun is over and done after the conclusion of the NFL draft, but can you just let the NHL and NBA playoffs enjoy the limelight for like 1/6th of the year? You think we don't realize the timing of this is far too convenient to be coincidental? Are you that jealous that the biggest sports day of the year last weekend had your 6th and 7th round picks sharing the back page? We'll always love you NFL, just stop trying so damn hard all the time.
Are we still going to be talking about Deflategate come the preseason? Why do I doubt that? When there is no news you either create news or resurrect old news. This 3 month investigation turned up "Tom Brady might have had something to do with it, but we are not sure". That's not news Roger. That's not news Ted. It's not an indictment. That's hearsay. Ever heard the phrase 'beyond a reasonable doubt'. It's pretty prevalent when it comes to prosecuting people for wrong doing. Back to the drawing board boys. Maybe just stop bringing this shit up and let it die, because any evidence you do have is circumstancial at best. Quit while you are far, far behind. This has gone on long enough and the only successful conclusion would be if we never had to hear about it again.
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