I'm Getting Mighty Tired Of Seeing Kids Make Insane Field Goals For Anyone Other Than My Teams
First of all, credit to this kid for knocking down a field goal that traveled 80% of a football field. Not sure the wind was against him like some are claiming, but the gridiron don't lie and an 80 yard field goal is an 80 yard field goal - no matter what the weather conditions.
More importantly, to me anyway, is where do all these guys go? I must have seen 100 different videos of high schools kids splitting the uprights from the next county. So how come my dick is still burying it's way into my taint every time either of my teams has an opportunity to add 3? Honestly, I ran the numbers of total 6 second viral clips and it appears they are overcoming immeasurable odds NOT to find a viable kicker. I have seen an entire graduating class worth of future Justin Tucker's, yet I still have to pinch myself when the best leg at a state college that enrolls over 28,000 puts one through from 30 measly yards out. I am still - after a goddamn decade - am not remotely comfortable with the special teams unit of a team that hires and fires it's kickers faster than their coach goes through packs of 'Juicy Fruit'. I'll swear to god I'll start recruiting these dudes with an unlimited supply of cheap beer and grain alcohol. Anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to be able to eventually root for one of them on Saturday's or Sunday's.
P.S. Love the swagger. "Where am I going? Uhhh, I just cleared the goal posts from my aunt's basement. I think I'll take a little time to myself as endless universities fan me wth scholarship offers..."
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