I'm Praying That Someone Else Shot Aqib Talib, Because The Alternative Is Far Worse

PFT-  Police have released the names of two other men who were shot on Sunday at the Dallas strip club where Broncos cornerback Aqib Talib had a bullet enter and exit his lower leg, according to Mike Klis of 9news.com in Denver. Police have not released the name of the suspect because the suspect remains unknown.

As to Talib, there’s a chance that the suspect is well known, to him. Chatter has emerged via online reports and speculation that Talib accidentally shot himself, presumably during the altercation sparked by the other shootings.




From one ridiculously irresponsible person to another, I have a word of advice for Aqib Talib. Blame someone else. Blame ANYONE else. Give a name. Give ANY name. I don't care if that person was there that night or not. Just make sure they own a relatively similar gun and a shitty alibi, because putting an innocent person behind bars is far better than indicting yourself as the SECOND athlete to shoot themselves in public with their own pistol. I just know that Plaxico Burress is out there somewhere crossing all his fingers and toes, because nothing will polish up his reputation faster than associating himself with a more accomplished player committing the same act of sheer stupidity in a more dangerous way. Hell, if shooting yourself in the leg while scratching your balls through a pair of sweatpants is worthy of a two year prison sentence then Talib would have be to looking at 4-5 for Cheddah Bobbing himself during an actual altercation, right? Never has a player needed an attempted murderer as badly as Aqib Talib does right now, because the fall from top-tier corner to laughing stock of the sports world can be pretty quick when you're carrying the weight of your attempted murder weapon in your own waistband. Cris Carter may be a bumbling buffoon that got fired for being such, but this is why it's not a bad idea to keep those fall guys he was talking about around. Just never know when that trigger finger is going to get itchy, and you have to have a '"shot yourself in the leg" guy when it does.