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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

In Case You Really Needed It, Here Is The Reason Chris Ash Didn't Contact Kyle Flood After He was Hired

2/25/2016

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NJ.com- "Kyle is a great guy," Ash said. "I don't know him, but I've met him on the recruiting trails and shaken his hands in schools and things like that. I had nice conversations with him.

"I didn't really feel like there was a need to have a conversation about what's happened here and why. I'm not really concerned about what's happened in the past. I'm coming to do business the way I think it needs to be done.

"If there are things that have been done here that I like, I'll keep it," he said. "If things are not what I like, then I'm blowing it up and moving on. That's just the way we're doing it." 

"That's what I'm here to do," he said. "I'm here to change the way business has been done and get it on more of a championship level or a Big Ten East level, and hopefully change the results in the process."





Chris Ash you sly dog you. I knew this guy was a multifaceted talent, but I didn't know he was this adept at churning out fake pleasantries. This was like high school chicks complimenting each other at the lunch table "nice". This was like Kobe Bryant retirement tour "nice". This was hold the door open for someone only to find out they aren't even attempting to get to it in a timely manner "nice". It was slow down and let a person cut you off in traffic "nice". If everyone was honest with themselves then their reactions would be drastically different than they usually are in those situations. Chris Ash just took a laughable question, and gave one of the most genuinely considerate answers I have ever heard, and it made me think more highly of him as a person.

​You know what he should have said? He should have said "I didn't contact Kyle Flood because I don't need to know what not to do". He should have said "I didn't contact Kyle Flood because a real military captain wouldn't contact Tom Hanks when trying to learn how to best do his job". He should have said "why would I contact the former ringleader of a three ring circus to find out how to run a a successfully Big Ten college football program?". He should have said "I don't take tips from people that wear visors when they know it is going to rain". 

​Make no mistake, Kyle Flood and Chris Ash have technically held the same job title, but the latter is the only one with a plan of living up to the description. There's literally not one single thing that Kyle Flood could say to Chris Ash that could potentially benefit Rutgers football going forward. Not his utterly baffling endorsement of Chris Laviano as a starting quarterback. Not his signature cliches for postgame press conferences. Not even his not-so-subtle process of going about getting a student athlete's grade changed so that he's eligible to play football. I'm praying that Chris Ash won't need to elicit the help of Kyle Flood's uncanny ability to look like he's sailing peacefully along as the entire ship is sinking beneath his feet. Let's hope he doesn't need instructions on how to casually sip his morning coffee as a dumpster fire closes in around him. When Chris Ash is preaching about the togetherness of his team I would like to think he won't be doing it as half the roster sits in a prison cell, and therefore every lesson Kyle Flood could possibly teach is from an outdated curriculum. This program is unquestionably better off setting every one of Elmer Flood's lesson plans aflame. No reason to keep the bath water when you've finally gotten rid of the baby...
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