Is Calling The New Jersey Devils "Boring" The Laziest, Most Antiquated Narrative In All Of Sports?

The Hockey Writer's- What it’s about is their watchability. If you’re flipping through Gamecenter on a busy night trying to find a game to watch, if you’re not a Devils fan, you’re probably not tuning into a Devils game.

While the majority of hockey fans can enjoy a low-scoring game, this kind of game is a different beast, though it doesn’t mean by any stretch that the team is terrible. They’ve suppressed shots at an incredible rate over the last eight seasons.

They have also posted a +99 goal differential, which is the 14th best mark in the league over that stretch.

High event hockey may be exciting, but it doesn’t make the team great. As we said in the Devin example, the team with the most shot attempts in that time is the Toronto Maple Leafs.

As much as we’d all love to go the easy route a blame Jacques Lemaire, blame the trap, find something to blame, they’re a team with an identity that has worked very well for them. And it’s worked across quite a few coaches with Brent Sutter, Lemaire, John MacLean, Lemaire (again), Pete DeBoer, a combo of Scott Stevens and Adam Oates and then John Hynes.

The common thread was largely Lou Lamoriello, but the team has maintained that identity under new GM Ray Shero. Is that the result of the roster he was left with from Lamoriello? Maybe.

​It’s a style that works for them, but few teams have such a strong identity and while it can win games, it’s a boring affair.


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​Good news Devils fans, absolutely nothing has actually changed since 1995. I mean, the players have. The coaches have. Even the fucking Owner and General Manager have. Still, by all accounts from 'The Hockey Regurgitators' this is still the exact same team it was TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO. Different strategy, different style, same old Devils. I think we should be thankful. If that is indeed true then I am pretty sure we are Stanley Cup contenders? Didn't see that coming this year, but I will gladly take the designation. Sucks for the Buffalo Bills, but I'm sure the Dallas Cowboys will be glad to hear it. Someone should let the Chicago Bulls know that everything that happened two decades ago is completely indicative of what you see today. I thought we had to wait awhile for history to repeat itself, but apparently it is just on an annual loop. Ignore what you see on the ice. The Devils are still the team that revolutionized defense and used a high scoring offense to win FARRRRR too much for the liking of a bunch of uninformed assholes on a website no one gives a fuck about. 

I understand that after the last two years it's easy to call the Devils boring. Even I can definitely say they were boring. Not because of how they played the game, but because their roster was completely void of talent. This year's team? The one that is actually scoring? The one that is predicated on speed, solid defense, and otherworldly goaltending? We are going to say this team compares, even slightly, to that team? The 2012 Stanley Cup team? The one that was led by Zach Parise and Ilya Kovalchuk, two of top ten players in the league at the time? That team was the same as a team whose leading scorer was the corpse of Scott Gomez? The cup winning teams that featured the likes of 'Hall Of Fame' players Scott Stevens, Scott Niedermayer, Patrik Elias, and Martin Brodeur? Those teams were all similar to the gigantic pile of shit the Devils iced the last two years? I understand if uninvested fans don't want to watch Devils hockey. Recently, with the exception of the last 20 games, that has been difficult for even the most diehard of Devils fans. However, saying that nothing has changed about this team since 19-fucking-95 is just proof that someone that takes time out of his day to write about the sport doesn't even watch it. That's fine, maybe we are too boring for him, but it's probably just that he is too lazy to tune in and find out. 

So Dustin Nelson, take your biased statistics and shove them up your ass. Saying that the Devils will always be synonymous with boredom is like saying that your mother will always be the whore she was when she was sucking the cock of every Tom, Dick, and Harry in the schoolyard before she shat your useless ass out into the world.