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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Is It Crazy To Say That Mike Tyson's Threat To His Daughter's Boyfriends Seems Relatively Mild?

1/21/2016

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“Whatever you do to my daughter, I’m gonna do to you,” Tyson said. “You better make sure you’re pecking her on her lips or her cheek because if you give her the tongue, buddy, you better brush your teeth.”

Hmm, I think this threat packs a very different punch depending on the negligence of the boy Mike Tyson's daughter is seeing. I'm assuming this girl is in her early teens seeing as she just just started dating. If I know anything about the youth of America it's that they are completely oblivious to anything and everything that happened before they were born. Some snot nosed teenager probably doesn't even think dating Mike Tyson's daughter is all that dangerous. After all, he just knows him as the guy from 'Hangover' that rides a hooverboard exactly how you'd expect a middle aged man to ride a hooverboard. That guy doesn't seem all that scary. That's why that kid might actually be frightened if Mike Tyson told him he was going to tongue kiss him -and potentially make him bite the pillow- depending on how proficient he is at running the bases. I would imagine that could seem pretty shocking to a person that was treating Mike Tyson like the average neighborhood dad. Not only because he has likely never encountered someone so crass in all his years on the planet, but because he doesn't realize how mild of a threat that is considering it's source.

Now, if you are sports aficionado with respect for the past then you probably know Mike Tyson as much more than the parody of himself that he is today. You know him as the guy that threatened to eat another man's babies. You know him as the guy that bit another man's ear off during a professionally organized sporting event. The guy that said he wanted to rip out another man's heart and show it to him. The guy that voiced his desire to bathe in his opponent's blood. The guy that didn't fight to win, but fought to kill. If you willingly enter into a relationship with that man's daughter -knowing the things that have come out of his mouth (including another man's earlobe)- then being told he might tickle your tonsils or pack your shit probably isn't going to move the needle all that much. This quote is hilarious, but I don't think it's scaring off too many boxing fans who have heard soooo much worse...
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