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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Isn't Outlawing Superhero Lunch Boxes The Surest Sign That We Have Quit As A Society?

8/27/2015

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Metro- She may be the world’s premier cartoon heroine, but according to one school, Wonder Woman and her Golden Lasso of Truth are too are absolutely not suitable lunchbox fodder.

According to Redditor twines18, who posted a copy of the letter and offending lunchbox on Imgur, the lunchbox contravened the schools dress code which states children aren’t allowed to bring ‘violent images’ into the building.

The letter states: ‘We have defined “violent characters” as those who solve problems using violence. Super heroes certainly fall into that category.’


But despite much outrage on Reddit, twines18 pointed out that the child’s parents aren’t upset with the school. In fact, he claims they ‘find it more hilarious than anything.’



The ultimate conundrum. What ever shall we do? Let a female super hero get marginalized, or let violence, in the form of a plastic food carrier, run rampant in our schools? The only worthy competitor for irrational outrage is equal, but opposite irrational outrage. This is like the Lakers/Celtics of misplaced anger. Looks like our growing concern over violence won this time, but you bet your ass that the feminists will put the work in over the offseason and come back stronger next year.

This is a great start. You really got to attack these problems at their root. Start with lunch boxes, and then we can worry about shielding the impressionable minds of children from the news, contact sports, every action movie ever made, and most importantly, any and all forms of military activity. Matter of fact, it really leaves me questioning why we are poisoning our youth by having a class called 'History'. You know how you show children that violence is the best way to solve their problems? Teach them about our country's past. These bastards that keep shooting up schools? They are just the kids that didn't fall asleep during Social Studies.  

I don't want to generalize, but with the increasing pussification of school districts you really have to wonder if teachers have just quit on our children. You send your kids to school to learn something and all they end up learning is that everything is bad. Why go through the work of teaching kids the difference between right and wrong when you can just tell them everything is wrong. We have gotten to the point where that is the safest way for school districts to avoid being reprimanded. Why explain to a child that Wonder Woman protecting the world through the use of violence is the polar opposite of punching someone you don't like on the playground? Don't teachers have it hard enough trying help the youth of America memorize their times tables?! You want to be a parent? You better be ready to educate your own sniveling little brat, because it appears that school has just become a place to send your kid for a few hours while you work to provide for them. A place that's more concerned with covering their own ass than fucking teaching anyone anything. 

P.S. I'd rather starve than be the little kid bringing his lunch to school in a brown paper bag. Those fuckers are the ones that grow up to be violent.
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