Guess what LeBron fans, he is ready to commit long term! He's ready put his city on the map! This is the day you have all been waiting for! A day when one of the greatest players of all time will finally pledge his allegiance to an organization that has shared in so many of his greatest memories. A day when he will finally promise to forever bear a logo that will always be near and dear to his heart. As of today, Akron's own LeBron James is forever indebted to (drum roll please)....THE SWOOSH!!!
Oh, sorry Cleveland, did you guys think I was talking about the Cavaliers? Sorry, didn't mean to get your hopes up. As far as you guys are concerned he'll probably just keep opting out every season, and threatening to leave every time his teammates cost him a chance to win a championship. Maybe one day he'll commit. Probably not, but maybe. After all, he did just take a step in the right direction by proclaiming himself a "Nike lifer". Yeah, all he really did was announce his loyalty to the most popular brand on the planet. A brand that continues to pay him millions upon millions of dollars every year to endorse their product, and his very own subdivision of their product, but hey, you got to start somewhere, right? If we are being honest, we all probably should have assumed that that "somewhere" would have been in "one of" LeBron's shoes closets.
P.S. I pretty much only buy Nike sneakers, but I am actively rooting for them to finally get busted for child labor and fold strictly out of spite.