I want you to take a nice long look at that picture up top. Don't just take a glance at it and appreciate it for it being so inherently awkward that it feels like it should have casted George Constanza. I mean really study every single person in it, and then explain to me how it's possible how the guy holding the trophy has managed to become the villain in that group. A dreadfully grumpy head coach and his infuriatingly successful, woefully corny future 'Hall Of Fame' quarterback maniacally laughing while their owner accepts his 5th championship trophy on behalf of the team with the most insufferable fanbase in all of sports, and the man in the middle is so goddamn unlikable that he turned them all into semi-sympathetic figures. I should despise that trio of repeat champions on stage. Not because they are supposedly smart yet oxymoronically friends with Donald Trump. Not even because they have been known to take liberties with the rulebook from time to time. I should hate the New England Patriots for the same reason everyone's hate for the New York Yankees peaked in the 90's. The prolonged greatness of others is absolutely loathsome when it doesn't benefit you. Roger Goodell's power may not be at the same level of the President's, but I could argue that his 18 month long fight - that ended in an unjust suspension - over literally a breathful of air took away my unalienable right to hate those that have it better than myself. There's nothing more pure than completely legitimate, sports-based envy, and the commissioner of the NFL was such as egregiously spiteful asshole that I no longer have the ability to direct it at a franchise who has no shortage of despicable characteristics. I really wish I could just be mad like the people that have ignored science and continued to believe the man who - until recently - played dumb about the existence of concussions in one of the most violent sports on the planet because it fits their narrative that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are cheaters. Unfortunately - as someone that felt the secondhand wrath of a "justice system" that makes the fine attorneys of Manitowoc County seem trustworthy - I can't help but feel inspired by the Patriots finally getting their moment of vengeance. Especially since the Saints' and their fans have been desperately yearning for theirs since the "unlocking" of their '-Gate' culminated in a proverbial theft of their season. You would think that if the NFL had their own "evil empire" it would be the team that constantly ends up winning (occasionally through deceitful means), but somehow that term has come to more accurately describe the people in charge of the league who don't even an on-field performance for us to find ourselves emotionally invested in.
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