J.A. Happ Trying To Understand How To Buy Canadian Milk Is The Perfect Criticism Of Canada

J.A. Happ did not know that you're supposed to put the milkbag in a container. https://t.co/kbrLnNEawy pic.twitter.com/eCSk8oGAPr

— Mike (@gosensgo101) July 15, 2016

There you have it folks. The most appropriate critique of our neighbors to the North. J.A. Happ needing an entire interview's worth of instructions to buy fucking milk is the perfect way to say that Canada is "just like the United States, but...not really". That's why you can take everyone's word with a  grain of salt when they say they are fleeing the country if Donald Trump gets elected. Not because Canada is all that much worse than the United States, but because the things that make it slightly worse are things that take directly away from that which we hold the most dear - convenience.

Dollar coins. The stupidest of spellings. The absolute debacle that is the metric system. Having two official national languages. Jug-it-yourself milk!?! Bet you didn't even realize Canada was just one big old landmass of inconvenience, eh? I mean, not only are their hockey teams not good anymore, but the value of their dollar is driving down the value of the entire league. After you turn 21 literally every advantage to living there immediately flies right out the window onto the 401. Living under the power of a openly bigoted jackass has the potential to suck something fierce, but it won't be nearly as bad as needing a change purse to carry a couple bucks or spending a single additional second in the grocery store just to fulfill your daily dose of dairy. Once you have adapted to a certain level of advantageous commodities there is no going backwards and as far as utility is concerned, Canada is currently eating our All American dust.