Jaromir Jagr Responding To Post-Sex Blackmail Photo By Saying He Doesn't Care Is So Vintage Jags I Can't Stand It

Puck Daddy-  At this point in his life, 43-year-old Jaromir Jagr isn’t just marching to his own drummer, but basically his own drum corps. He’ll play as long as he wants. He play wherever he feels like it (i.e. places with a lack of personal income tax). He’s Jaromir Friggin’ Jagr, and you’re not. 

According to Blesk, a Czech tabloid, a model named Catherine from Moravia took a selfie in bed as Jagr slept next to her. The image had been making the rounds on Czech social media. Someone came across the photo, and had the bright idea to attempt to extort 50,000 crowns (or roughly $2,000 U.S.) from Jagr or else the photo would be released to the media.

So the photo was shopped to the media, and on Sept. 17 Nova.cz published the altered photo that the blackmailer had been using as “proof” that they had the image, presumably the one presented to Jagr. Alas, there was one catch for this criminal mastermind:

Jagr. Doesn’t Care.

He literally told the blackmailer to do whatever he wanted with the photo. And so it hit the Czech media, and it was published in several European publications, and Jagr just keeps on Jagr'ing. 

It should be said that while Jagr is reportedly single, Catherine is reportedly not. According to several reports, she’s the girlfriend of Czech junior player Domink Rudl, who was born in 1996, by which time Jagr had already won two Stanley Cups and a scoring title. He also reportedly calls Jagr one of his idols, just in case this entire thing wasn't awkward enough.



This story is so Jagr that it almost makes me wish that the New Jersey Devils didn't pull an absolute heist of the Florida Panthers by trading him at last year's deadline. Hey, you can't fault the attempt here. Most 43 year old men would probably care if people found out they were having sex with 18 year olds, even if they did happen to be smoking hot models. Well, whoopsie. Just so happened that whoever came across this photo didn't do their research. Jagr doesn't care that people know he is banging women that he could have easily fathered. Jagr doesn't care about tabloids. Jagr doesn't care about what people think about him. Jagr literally doesn't care about anything else except hockey. That's why he is single in his 40's, and thus virtually unbribable. With the amount of work that Jaromir Jagr puts into staying in shape as an elder statesman in the NHL he barely has any time for a relationship. That's why he satisfies that sexual need by banging out young, dumb Czech models. They require the least amount of time and effort to get in the sac, especially when the person trying to bed them happens to be one of the most famous people in the entire country. My only regret is that I wasn't present to see Jagr's classic smirk when this attempted extortion took place. He probably made some incredible sarcastic remark that the blackmailer didn't fully understand then cleared it up by saying "no really, I don't care". 

So if your Czech player Domink Rudl you got to be pretty psyched, right? At very least, he can't be upset. I mean, if your'e dating 18 year old models you are bound to get cheated on. Especially if you aren't of a significant amount of money or fame. If your girl was bound to cheat on you than doing so with your hero is pretty much the best case scenario. I mean, you never want another man laying hands on your woman, but being able to share a conquest with Jaromir Jagr should be the lifelong dream of any hockey player that respects the history of the game. If he were smart he would be throwing it in raw dog hoping some of that age defying magic rubs off. If I were this kid I would have that photo signed and framed on my nightstand. Having a hockey legend insert himself into this guy's girlfriend is like his biggest accomplishment in the sport thus far. We are talking top of the trophy case material. Plus, no one knew who Domink Rudl was before, and now we do. If that results even the slightest bit of notoriety and a bigger opportunity to progress in his hockey career then someone owes Jaromir Jagr a thank you, and it's not even the hot little slut that took some legendary dick.

Never change Jags, never change.