While ripping to shreds just about everything that spills from the directionless mouth of Jason Witten has ever so quickly become one of my favorite hobbies, I'm not about kill him for being blatantly hypocritical as it pertains to how NFL teams treat domestic abuse and/or allegations of such. Take into consideration every hollow, haphazard, and hackneyed expression he's bungled in his short time as Monday Night Football's unintentional comic relief, and it shouldn't be any sort of surprise that he spent his playing days toeing the company line under the "toe on the line" dictatorship of Jerry Jones. The following may sound strange, as Jason Witten's extensive NFL career was predicated on being built farmer-tough, but we are picking on a guy that's woefully incapable of defending himself if we are going to retrospectively hold him accountable for things he thoughtlessly said while trying not to cause a rift in the Cowboys' locker room. As if his Ron Burgundy-esque display of mental processing in the booth hasn't provided enough evidence, Jason Witten might be the most vanilla person/personality on the planet. I bet he's never even swirled his ice cream, never mind stirred the pot. Even in condemning what the Redskins did by giving Reuben Foster a second chance before the paperwork for his failed first chance had been put through the shredder, he basically offered a boilerplate critique of domestic abuse. If you Google'd 'is it okay to beat women?' the very first result might damn well be a word-for-word transcript of his opinion above, so I'm not about stomp my feet and accuse someone that can barely think on their feet of hypocrisy. Now, if his family truly has been affected by domestic violence then he too looks spineless for ever taking on the role of robotic spokesperson for the moral-less serpent that is Jerry Jones, but I can't tell you I expected him to do anything other than speak on behalf of the safety of his own personal circumstances. That's something that we all do more than we'd like to admit, never mind those whose job security is as weak as Jason Witten's sentence structure.
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