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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Jaylen Brown Straight Up Dunked On A Kid Because He Said That Ben Simmons Was Better Than Him

6/30/2016

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Jaylen Brown on the kid he dunked on: "He said Ben Simmons is better."

— Jay King (@ByJayKing) June 29, 2016

You know what is becoming exceedingly evident these days? Kids are feeling themselves far too much around grown folks that deserve their respect. We saw it when some little brat yelled 'GO PATRIOTS!' in Steve Smith's face, and we are seeing it again with this fat slob talking down to Jaylen Brown like getting out of bed in the morning isn't his greatest athletic accomplishment. When I was young I would have looked up to these players like they were gods, yet the next generation is treating them like they are parking lot peers. I can't even imagine how I would respond if I were Jaylen Brown. Probably just stare back in utter disbelief. Do everything I could to hold my tongue and stop myself from blurting out "oh yeah? Well, Ms. Piggy has more range on her jumper than you". Fortunately, Jaylen Brown doesn't have to worry about offending anybody by using wit to fight back against an outspoken candidate for Type-2 diabetes, because he's got something far more efficient...

The ability to dunk. 

This - my friends - is why ever white kid with the vertical of a bullfrog spends hours upon hours of their youth desperately grasping at the bottom of the net every time they walk by a hoop. This is why everyone dreams of one day being able to slam a basketball through a rim. It's the ultimate answer back. If I were capable of dunking I would walk around with a basketball on my person at all times just in case someone happened to insult me within a 2 block radius of a court. Using words as weapons is fun, but it's nowhere near as fun as completely emasculating someone with an awe-worthy athletic feat. Jaylen Brown didn't even think about responding to this kid's (accurate) criticism. He just nodded lightly, checked up, and gave a 'the round mound sans rebound' a first hand look at a professional package as he soared over his cholesterol ridden ass to throw one down. If only we are all so lucky to be able to do the same. ​
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