Jerry Jones Couldn't Possibly Be In New Orleans For Any Other Reason Than To Woo Sean Payton, Right?
Well, it was fun while it lasted ladies and gentleman. I thought Sean Payton might decide to stay in New Orleans, but the biggest degenerate owner in NFL history flying into the biggest party city in the world can only mean one thing. Sean Payton is going to be coaching the Dallas Cowboys. Never mind that they aren't currently in the market for a head coach. It doesn't matter that Sean Payton is struggling for more control over the Saints roster and Jerry Jones is the single most disruptive owner in professional sports when it comes to personnel. Sure, Sean Payton just spent last offseason cleaning the character issues out of his locker room and Jerry Jones needs controversial players like he needs air to breathe or Viagra to fuck. They can work out those details later. What's important is that a Jerry Jones owned team provides an environment that is conducive to winning. How could Payton decide against Dallas? After all, remember that one time he was an offensive coordinator there? Doesn't that connection just seem all too convenient? I bet they are already sipping hurricanes on Bourbon Street drawing up the plans for 2016 right under Drew Brees' nose. Why else would he be down there? It's not like Jerry Jones has any vices that could draw him to the Big Easy. It's not like he has a well documented affinity for strippers and gambling. He's just down there to find his new head coach. It's just a shame that he hasn't told his old one he is fired yet.