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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Jersey Kid 'Comes Out' Through Clever Yearbook Quote

6/13/2015

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Distractify- "I wanted to go out with a bang," said high school senior Maxwell Barrett. "I had never done sports, or clubs. I was always just an art student. I wanted to go out in a way people would remember me by!"

Barrett says he was "out" to most who knew him, although he had never officially told his parents.

"It was just more of a confirmation to [my parents] than a coming-out story," he said. "They said it was the best one in the yearbook and that they were proud of me."



Not gonna lie, pretty cool way to come out. Everyone with a sense of humor wants to incorporate some wit into their senior quote. Especially if they can send a message at the same time. Therein lies the problem, because there is exactly a 0% chance that this was a surprise to anyone. You think there was a person on this planet that thought this kid was straight? I don't mean this is an insult, far from it as a matter of fact, but this kid has the gayest facial structure I have ever seen in my entire life. If this kid liked pussy it would never be in doubt because he would already been in the 'Guinness Book Of World Records' for being the prettiest straight man ever. Oh gee, I wonder if the kid that makes Ryan Gosling look like a homeless guy, yet hasn't had sex with one female in high school, is gay? This kid may have been in the closet, but the outside of that closet was decorated with glitter and rainbows, and you could probably hear the Lady Gaga from the neighbor's house. If this kid's parents didn't know he was gay then it's not worth even telling them, because they are literally the worst parents on the planet. Look at his twitter bio...

"Artist/Illustrator. Commissions at mbartsale@gmail.com . Check my Etsy shop for art sales and print sales! Link below! Instagram: @maxwellbarrett"

That may as well read 'Professional Homosexual'. Artist, illustrater, dick sucker. The only "straight" man that has an Etsy shop has a closet in the back that he calls home. Hey, all the power to him, but I think this kid could have stopped using 'the closet' reference about 8 years ago. Your parents knew you were gay when your only dates with females took place at the mall and ended with a room full of J-Crew bags. If my yearbook quote was "P.S. I'm not gay." it would have shocked more people than this kids yearbook quote. I don't think we need to make a huge deal out of a gay kid being funny. We don't need a coming out party for someone that just reinforced what everyone already knew. 
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