I'm honestly impressed. Obviously not by J.J. Watt's totally genuine persona as the humbled, gracious athlete that always has time to entertain every kid in the neighborhood, but by the fact that he was so dedicated to maintaining it that he produced EIGHT AND A HALF MINUTES of SnapChat footage during one single snowball fight. I don't know how long this precipitation battle with two kids that look no worse for the wear possibly could have lasted but I feel like we have enough game tape to break down their tendencies before the next blizzard. That's all thanks to J.J.'s undying need to broadcast his "relatability" to the millions and millions of fans that look up to him as so much more than just a football player. Sometimes it's just nice to see that professional athletes that make millions and millions of dollars are just like us. What better way for one to prove that than by narrating an entire Blair Witch-esque TV short made up on 10 second clips of a snowball fight outside his monstrous log cabin like it's taking place on the scorched battlefields of Vietnam?