Jordan Clarkson's Game Day Routine Is That Of The Guy That Lived On Your Couch In College11/17/2017
Well, well, well....look who just talked themselves into some mandatory one-on-one time with the team nutritionist! Obviously not every athlete has the will power to stick to Tom Brady's dietary restrictions, but I think the Lakers would probably prefer that their point guard prepare for professional competition better than Tom Arnold. It's actually a credit to Jordan Clarkson that he's putting up nearly 16 points per game in an efficient manner, because the fashion in which he sustains himself is anything but. I can't say for sure, but I imagine that if he learned to mix in a complex carbohydrate every once in a while he could really reach his sky-high potential instead of stopping to taste the rainbow. As a former useless college student I can definitively say that the only thing that game day ritual is missing is a single bong rip every hour on the hour, assuming that his preferred lifestyle is that of the stoned and shameless. The leftover breakfast chicken that may or may not have found its way to the fridge in the first place? Multiple naps? A halfhearted video game sesh? Is Jordan Clarkson preparing for an NBA game or unemployment? Obviously, as a 25 year old, he's still a couple of years away from the eye-opening and belt loosening moment of clarity that causes one to stop treating their body like a complete wasteland (during the week), but - if I were Jordan Clarkson - I'm not sure I'd be volunteering that information up to the organization that employs me for my athleticism. Unless - of course - he's shooting for a Roscoe's sponsorship. If that's the case the he shouldn't chicken out or waffle from a schedule that has playing a brand of ball that's relegated the #2 overall pick to the bench when the game is on the line. A wise philosopher once said "eh, whatever works", and - more imperative to Jordan Clarkson's job security - Lonzo Ball's jump shot currently does not.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Categories
All
Archives
January 2020
|