LATimes- Julio Jones wasn’t hurt when he recently fell off a jet ski on Georgia’s Lake Lanier. That's the good news.
But when the Atlanta Falcons receiver emerged from the water, he realized something was missing from one of his ears — a diamond stud valued at somewhere between $100,000 and $150,000, according to WXIA-TV in Atlanta."It was worth a little bit," Jones told the station.
So Jones hired two divers, who searched the bottom of the lake some 65 feet deep for the missing piece of jewelry. Down there, it’s pitch dark. And the surface is soft and covered with old tree branches.
The divers tried shining their lights along the lake’s bottom, hoping to see the diamond reflect back at them. But eventually they gave up their search.
"It's down in crevasses and nooks and crannies," diver Richard Pickering said. "It's impossible, absolutely impossible."
The search may have come up empty, but Jones said he is just happy he didn’t hurt himself during the fall.
"As long as I'm good, it's materialistic stuff," he said. "You can always get that kind of stuff back."
Just in case you woke up this morning foolishly thinking that you had a single thing in common with a professional athlete, Julio Jones is here to provide you with a painful reminder of just how much your life sucks. If hearing that he owns his own jet ski wasn't enough to make you feel like a lesser human being than knowing that he carelessly whips it around without feeling the need to remove a pea-sized piece of jewelry that could be traded in for a luxury car would certainly do the job.
That's why his decision to hire a goddamn team of divers to undertake a task that basically equates to finding a needle in an underwater hay stack just adds insult to the injury that bruised a vast majority of society's egos. I don't know the price tag on eliciting the help of those looking to make waves in the Coast Guard equivalent of the minor leagues, but the idea that the Falcons' All-World wideout even thought to enlist professional help to recover the sunk cost of his own stupidity/recklessness is a tell tale sign that he's doing far better at this crazy thing called life.
He may not understand that the terrain underneath some murky ass lake is much different than that of a swimming pool, but he sure as shit understands that being rich and famous allows you to treat an earring that was lost in ridiculous fashion like it's the body of a young boy who is reportedly lost at sea.
P.S. Perhaps I am being too hard on him. After all, it's definitely easier to lose jewelry in a lake than it is to lose a 25 point lead in a Super Bowl.