Just What Every Man With Boobs Has Been Waiting For, A Soccer League Exclusively For Fat People!

DailyMail- A new football league has kicked off in which players can only join if they are fat in a bid to get obese men off the couch and onto a pitch.

The competition is open to men who have a BMI of 30 or over. Participants need to score on and off the pitch, because points are awarded for both games won and pounds lost after each game.

Andrew Shanahan, 37, runs the Man V Fat league but ironically is too skinny to actually play after losing five stone to go from 17 to 12 stone.

After years of failed attempts at different diets and gym routines, he decided to set up Man V Fat in January 2014.

The free 14-week season will help football fans slim down to a healthy BMI of 18 to 25 and has been set up by football specialists Leisure Leagues.

Teams include Inter Pies, XL Legends, Beer Bellies United and Phoenix XXXL, with ages ranging from the early 20s to an impressive 69.




At long last, a self regulating recreational league! What's the biggest reason that people turn their gym membership into a monthly donation by March? That's right, because they lack the motivation to continue, or they get discouraged by underwhelming results, or because remaining healthy is too difficult for them. Well guess what disgustingly obese sports fans, your prayers have been answered. The 'Man V Fat League' doesn't want to motivate you to get better, they want to keep you just as you are. Underwhelming results are pretty much their "thing". After all, if those results become overwhelming then you are getting booted from the league for being too skinny. Trying to remain healthy? Look elsewhere. If anything this 'Fats Only' league encourages you to partake in further gluttony. Got to pack those pounds back on after lightly jogging/walking/desperately searching for air for an hour a week. Wouldn't want to come up under that weight requirement. Finally a place that inspires you to get off the couch, but doesn't want you to change whatsoever. The league isn't about losing weight. It's about having some fun while hopefully pushing that inevitable heart attack back a few days. 

The biggest problem with all-inclusive leagues is that they can never find the right dispersion of talent. There is always a couple of try-hards that ruin something that's meant purely for fun. While I am sure there are guys in this league that care more about soccer than others, or have more natural soccer ability than others than others, they will all always remain in the same weight bracket. If nothing else that limits how much of an effect they can have on a game. Can't be too much of a ball hog when you're looking like this after about 30 seconds of dipsy doodling around plus size parking cones...

P.S. I love the fact that this league made they made the nets smaller. Sure it makes fat goalies feel even bigger by comparison, but at least it decreases the amount of balls that will fly by their athletically impaired ass once the game starts. Can't imagine this guy has too much range of motion. Just wait until the NHL gets wind of this. That's one sponsorship you consider off the table.