USA Today- Anthony Davis might just have the cutest pet in the NBA. Davis posted a photo of “Meek,” a marmoset, to Instagram a few weeks ago, but his connection to the monkey remained vague. On Friday, Ric Bucher confirmed that Meek is actually Davis’ pet, and he even wears tiny little monkey diapers. It’s so small you could put it on Davis’ forehead and mistake it for his unibrow.
There are a lot of reasons for me to be jealous of Anthony Davis. He's 22 years old. He's probably 3 years from being the undisputed best player in the NBA. He signed $145 million dollar deal. He lives in New Orleans, AKA the greatest city on earth. Hell, Anthony Davis' life is so goddamn awesome that we just stop acknowledging one of the all-time greatest unibrows. Talk about playing above the rim in terms of scrutiny. Regardless, who would have thought the thing that really put me over the edge was his pet monkey? I think he just made the fact that athletes can have whatever they want that much more real for me. Sure, professional athletes are supposed to have ridiculously overpriced cars. The are supposed to have lavish houses. They are supposed to walk into a bar and have a pick of the litter. They aren't supposed to have South American primates as pets. This just seems like a Chappelle Show skit come to fruition. Remember when he was making baby dinosaur omelettes on 'Cribs'? I just imagine his personal assistant being like "Anthony Davis, what's the first thing you are going to buy with your new contract?". And he just stood there stone faced and said "I want a baby marmoset, and while you're at it get him his own babysitter and a pack of mini-diapers. That's some baller shit".
I know animal rights groups will argue that it's not right to own a pet that is native to the wild, never mind native to a completely different country. I would argue, however, that that monkey is too damn cute to not be pampered by a human being. Plus, if you are going to own a wild animal you have to make sure you get them as a baby. That marmoset barely knows it's a marmoset. Just avoid the Discovery Channel and it should be smooth sailing. Even if it's not, could you really get mad at that little guy? I feel like even if he threw his pellet sized poop at me I would still let out an audible 'awwww' before calling his babysitter for an emergency visit. Shit, I'm so jealous I might put a hit out on the handler and then apply for the job. As they say, life could be worse than living in New Orleans watching over a baby monkey.