Complex- According to an article in the January 2016 issue of GQ, the rebirth of Justin Bieber happened last year in the unlikeliest of places. GQ writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner tells the story of Bieber living with Pastor Carl Lentz, one of the leading figures at Hillsong, an international mega-church that caters to celebrities like Kevin Durant, Kendall Jenner, Selena Gomez, and, yes, Justin Bieber.
At one point, Bieber is said to have been sobbing and "ravaged by feelings of loss." He and Pastor Carl prayed together until Bieber asked to be baptized—which apparently was easier said than done.
The two traveled to a Manhattan hotel where Hillsong rents pools for baptisms, but by that time the paparazzi had found out and there was already a crowd of hundreds. Pastor Carl called a friend who had a pool, but by the time they arrived there was a crowd there, too. So, finally, Pastor Carl called his boy.
Carl has many boys, but in this case his boy was Tyson Chandler, who was then on the New York Knicks. It was 2 a.m. by now. The Knicks had beaten the Miami Heat earlier that night.
Tyson Chandler—who now plays for the Phoenix Suns—offered his building's pool for JB's baptism, but the pool was closed. Out of options, Chandler decided to offer up his tub, which was surely large enough since the former All-Star is listed at 7'1".
This story is a testament to the internet's resiliency. It will never, ever quit. Just read that headline and think about it for a second. Justin Bieber and Tyson Chandler have no obvious connections, other than both being super rich, and then we find out that one was baptized in the other's bathtub at two in the morning. Being a celebrity must be quite the life. You just end up in places with no rhyme or reason as to why you are there. I could read the explanation behind why a pop star was blessed in professional basketball player's bathroom 1,000 times and it would never truly make any sense to me.
So Christianity...that's a pretty big sham, right? Seriously, this is a huge hit to organized religion. This priest has got a pretty nice resume on him. He seems like a legitimate man of the Lord, and he says that taking a late night bath at Tyson Chandler's apartment is enough to show that you truly accept the son of God as your savior? I got to be honest, I'm judging the Messiah pretty hard right now.
Jesus Christ (that wasn't in vain, I'm addressing him), I know you take away the sins of the world, but would it kill you (again) to be a little less forgiving. I should have to do more to show my faith than dip my head in any old body of water, while standing next to someone whose profession lends itself to sexual misconduct, before being granted the privilege of eternal life. The only requirement to becoming "born again" shouldn't be hopping in something I use daily. Do you think Tyson Chandler made the NBA simply by showing up to basketball practice as a kid? You think Justin Bieber became a worldwide superstar by singing in the shower? You don't get into the cool frat on campus just by pledging. If Catholicism is so goddamn awesome how come all you have to become a part of it is have some celibate dude wet your brow? Even Tyson Chandler, the man that was hosting this religious ceremony, had to question the existence of a higher power when his fucking phone rang in the middle of the night. A friend in need is no friend at all. If being Catholic means my doors have to be open, at all hours, to anyone else that wants to be Catholic with me then glory of God be damned, I'm OUT on Catholicism.