Keep Scrolling Through The Rolodex, Because Charles Woodson Is Not Babysitting Aldon Smith

"I'm not a baby sitter," replied Raiders 18 year vet Charles Woodson when I asked him about mentoring Aldon Smith pic.twitter.com/VGnKYp0WAY

— Jason Appelbaum (@JasonAppelbaum1) September 11, 2015

Well, bet you just feel real stupid now, don't you San Francisco? Committed all that money to such an extremely talented player and couldn't even protect your investment by hiring a babysitter? Couldn't just place a few calls to random teenagers in the neighborhood that are undoubtedly in need of a little bit of income and had them keep an eye on the 6'5, 265 pound alcoholic felon for a few hours? It was as simple as that. Aldon Smith doesn't need rehab. He just needs someone to watch television and ignore him until he tries to down a fifth of vodka and hop behind the wheel with weed in his pocket. Seems like a small price to pay for a pass rusher that's capable of putting up double digit sacks annually if you ask me.

Well as "easy" as that job seems, I'll tell you who is not putting in an application, and that's Charles Woodson. I have no doubt that Woodson doesn't mind mentoring younger players , but there's a requirement when it comes to mentoring a person, and I'll admit, it sounds kind of silly. That person actually has to be willing to get mentored. At this point I don't even know how you would go about trying to mentor Aldon Smith. I think he's just become so adept at committing crimes that you have to encourage him to keep doing so. Maybe he's just in the middle of a decade long rebellious phase where he does the exact opposite of what authority tells him to do. All Charles Woodson needs to do is buy his liquor for him. Put the keys in the ignition and the whiskey in the cup holder. Roll his blunts and pass him a lighter. Maybe, just maybe, if Aldon Smith doesn't think his actions are frowned upon he won't even want to do them anymore. I mean, I am almost positive that's not the case, but the dumbass Raiders are the ones who signed him, so they had to have some kind of game plan in mind. Let's just hope they have a Plan B if asking Charles Woodson, who is clearly already tired of this shit, to babysit was a Plan A. 

P.S. The fact that a player like Charles Woodson, who has nothing to prove to anyone, has decided to spend the twilight of his career in the middle of a dumpster fire really shows how much he loves the game. It also kind of shows that he probably needs to see a neurologist, but hey, let's focus on the positives.