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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Kellen Winslow Jr.'s Attempt At Bail Got Denied By Way Of A Judge's Call Back To 'Mission: Impossible'

6/29/2018

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SportingNews- Former NFL tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was once again denied bail Thursday, with a judge strangely citing a popular movie to explain his decision.

Winslow was arrested earlier this month in San Diego on multiple charges, including rape, kidnapping and first-degree burglary. He faces multiple life terms if convicted on the more serious charges.

Already denied bail after his arrest, Winslow and his attorney went to Superior Court in San Diego again Thursday to suggest he be released on bail and subjected to house arrest, using the surveillance cameras already in Winslow's home.

According to TMZ.com, the judge denied bail, citing a Hollywood thriller.

"So, what about all these movies I watch like 'Mission Impossible' and stuff like that where they create this endless loop?" the judge said. "So the guy, like the Russians watching something … he sees everything is fine and meanwhile, Tom Cruise and all his folks are going around the scene and doing all this stuff."

Playing along with the scenario, Winslow's attorney responded, "Tom Cruise isn't on our team yet."


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As someone who quite frequently has issues understanding how ass backwards the justice system can be, I - as much as anyone - enjoyed having a ruling broken down in terms of popular culture. Now, in this particular case I didn't need too much help wrapping my head around the reasons why someone who was charged with being a repeat offender of unspeakable sex crimes wasn't allowed to await his fate from the comfort of his own couch...

The disturbing charges against Kellen Winslow II https://t.co/RWlP87nKs0 pic.twitter.com/ECim83kpdX

— Dan Wetzel (@DanWetzel) June 16, 2018

Still, I appreciated the irony of the 'Mission: Impossible' reference, as the request of a team of lawyers whose mission is starting to look impossible got shot down. ​Honestly, the Ethan Hunt of defense attorneys probably couldn't make a case that the person whose prospective rap(e) sheet makes him look like a bizarro world Sandusky should be allowed within a single exit point of the outside world. Therefore, not letting Kellen Winslow Jr. 'Tom Cruise' his through an unlikely escape from behind bars was nothing if not fitting. Assuming, of course, that the upholding of justice doesn't end in the same place as this judge's otherwise useless action movie knowledge, I approve of this cinematic swatting of a ballsy plea for bail.

P.S. We're all in the agreement that there's probably some sort of CTE correlation here, right? I'm not excusing Kellen Winslow of (allegedly) raping an entire retirement community as much as I am trying to understand what else could possibly make someone wake up one random morning and start forcibly sodomizing the elderly. 
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