Kevin Durant's Attempt At Drinking A Beer Is Proof That The Most Villainous Thing About Him Is His Inability To Be A Villain
Now, without further ado, the leading villain for the team that you love to hate...
Sigggggh. What the hell man? How am I supposed to garner legitimate disdain for a guy that can't finish a domestic beer that looks like a goddamn 'Tic Tac' in his freakishly large hands without spitting the entirety of it all over the floor? Honestly, the most hatable thing about Kevin Durant is that he looks more deserving of pity than hostility. I should have been slamming my hand against the table when the guy that ruined the entire NBA power structure was channeling his inner-Stone Cold Steve Austin. Instead I was left with my shaking head placed firmly between my hands as he clapped closed beers together like he's never actually been to a party before. I know KD wasn't treating kegs like they were a source of sustenance like most Longhorn freshman, but would it have killed him to crack one beer during his college year?
I just want him to embrace the role of the villain that he knew he was accepting when he joined a historically successful team, but - to this point - the most villainous thing about him is his inherit inability to be an intimidating antihero. It looks like the NBA is about to be held hostage for the foreseeable future by a Golden State team that is currently without equal, and the man sitting in his lair slowly tapping his fingers on the arm of his oversized chair makes Dr. Evil look like a competent heel. The player who served as the foil to competitive balance can't even dump celebratory beers down his face without looking like a complete dork, and that makes me hate his unhateable ass even more.