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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Khloe Kardashian's List Of The Craziest Places She's Had Sex Just Brought Shame To Her Family Name

2/1/2016

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BSO- Khloe is becoming one of entertainments biggest names with her new television show and a new website launch. Recently she took to her new website to let her fans know more about her thriving personal life.

Here’s 3 of the wildest place Khloe says she’s had sex:
  1. “You’re at home, so it’s comfortable, but it’s still a little different than the norm,” she writes. “A marble kitchen counter is sexy, thrilling … and cold, LOL!”
  2. “Don’t try this at home! Someone else was driving and I was in the backseat, but I’m a tall girl so it feels cramped and it hurts my f–king knees,” she says of gettin’ some in a car. “Getting down in a moving car is a waste of time, because nothing happens for me. I just don’t get to the finish line! If you’re down for a thrill, then by all means, but this one gets a low rating from me!”
  3. “Doing it on a private plane is great, especially when there are other passengers on board,” she writes. “It’s part of the thrill! I walked into the bathroom first and then he followed so it wasn’t exactly stealth, haha!!! Everyone obviously knew what was going on in and when I walked out, they asked if we had fun, LOL!



Wait, what? At home, in a car, and on a private plane? Those are the three wildest places a KARDASHIAN has had sex? Is Khloe Kardashian the worst former fat girl of all time? I wouldn't even except those as crazy sex spots from the mouth of a high school senior. How is this broad bagging multiple NBA players at a time when she treats her own kitchen counter as taboo? What is the target demographic of his website she just launched? Twelve year olds? I would go as far as saying that every single teenager that has lost their virginity has already christened Khloe's first two spots. The only reason they haven't conquered all three is because most people don't have their own private jet just sitting around. Hey Khloe, we don't need a detailed breakdown of how much car sex sucks, because we all spent our formative years having shitty car sex. We lived that struggle, and I would venture to guess it took place in a much smaller backseat.

Khloe Kardashian just lost all her credibility as the overweight sister. She just lost all her credibility as the whore she portrays herself as. As far as I am concerned she just lays there like a dead fish. Khloe Kardashian the entitled love log. Acting like doggy style in the back of a limo is kinky while her sister is in the other room giving Kanye a colonoscopy. No wonder James Harden sucks this year. No wonder Lamar Odom tried to kill himself. They are sexually frustrated. You think they worked as hard as they did to get to the NBA so they could have mediocre missionary in mundane places? The fact that Lamar Odom had to sniff a bunch of coke and blow six figures on hookers says all you need to know about Khloe's abilities in the sac. It's a good thing the rest of the household has never said no, because if they were banking on Khloe's box to maintain the family fortune they would be broke by now. Swallow her pride? Ha! She won't even swallow...uhhh...use or imagination, because if any of this is true (which I have hard time 
believing) then Khloe certainly isn't.
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