Complex- Eric Pincus has been covering the Lakers since 2003 and is in his fourth season with the L.A. Times. If you’ve seen Kobe Bryant’s documentary film, MUSE, you might remember him as the guy awkwardly kneeling on his knee amongst a swarm of TV cameras the night Kobe tore his Achilles, asking Kobe the question that nobody wanted to ask, whether he thought his career was over. While he’ll never forget that night, there was also this:
“There was one thing, years ago, I had two girls and we were talking about how we were going to try to have a third. And, he told me that to have a boy, I need to keep my socks on with my wife…that was his advice. I did not listen, and I have a third girl.”
Do you know how babies work? I know where they come from and shit, but I definitely can't tell you if there is a way to give yourself a better chance at a son or daughter. I would imagine there isn't because if this advice held any water then no man would have unprotected sex with their socks off ever again. Seriously, the prospect of raising a girl this day in age is absolutely frightening. I am unspeakably far from intentional conception but I might start double bagging my feet just in case one slips by. I would still love my daughter, but I'll be damned if I am passing up an opportunity to potentially avoid female puberty taking place under my roof. Again, this advice is completely ridiculous, which makes it just as good as any other piece of advice regarding guaranteeing the sex of your future child.
I think the biggest story here is actually a non-story. I know that doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but hear me out. Is it any surprise that Kobe Bryant leaves his socks on during sex? I honestly think I would be shocked if I found out Kobe took anything off during sex. I could see him cutting a dick hole in his compression shorts just so he could go right back to training after he ejaculated. Kobe is probably the most selfish lover of all time. He definitely refers to it as a "release" instead of an orgasm. That's probably why that white chick in Colorado -that was covered in more distinct semen than the bathroom stall at a rest stop- accused him of rape. It was all out of frustration that 'The Black Mamba' spit his venom and was back out on the court before the object of his fornication even realized that she had already completed her entire function. The man is results oriented. No time wasted. Foreplay is for guys like LeBron who aren't truly dedicated to winning. Kobe probably gets pissed when he gets his wife off. It's just a reminder to him that he has taken too much time away from the game. I agree that wearing socks during sex is an absolutely looney move, but I also don't immediately follow up every cumshot with 500 jump shots...nor do I know the best possible way to conceive a son, and chances are, neither do you.