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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Kyrie Irving Basically Indicted Himself By Taking To Instagram To Defend His White Girl Yacht Party

6/27/2016

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Original Post: 
http://admirekyrie.tumblr.com/post/146394080969/yacht-party
Defense Against Criticism Of Original Post: 

All different shades. □□ #Tryadifferentstory #2016WorldChampions

A photo posted by Kyrie Irving (@kyrieirving) on Jun 24, 2016 at 9:10pm PDT


​Seeing as I am not a black female that constantly feels devalued by the males for which I share a skin color, I find it exceedingly difficult to get worked up over Kyrie Irving's decision to keep his yacht party "lighter" than a Zeta Psi toga kegger. With the way he performed in the NBA Finals he earned the right to invite every Becky - regardless of the qualifications of her hair - within city limits onto his chartered boat orgy. After all, it's a pretty well known fact that the groupies with the most non-existent of inhibitions generally have the fairest of skin. If I were self respecting black woman I would actually be glad that Kyrie choose a bunch of slutty white girls to dehumanize by passing them out amongst his friends, but that's not what I am here to talk about. 

Instead, I would like to say that his defense of a clip that resembled the drunken SnapChat of every "Stephanie" from Seattle to South Carolina actually makes him look more guilty of the accusations he's had levied upon him by those of his own race. An allegation so preposterous is only deserving of a response if it's at least a little bit true. When the video evidence is so damning that it requires a rebuttal on social media then said rebuttal is already sure to be fruitless. All different shades my ass. I saw one black girl on that boat and she looked like she was about to throw herself into the water scuba-style if she got bumped by one more bony, rhythmless booty.

You just know that Kyrie got wind of black twitter going into a complete tailspin, re-watched the video, and knew he fucked up. I don't know whether it was originally intentional or not, but that boat was pale as fuck and Kyrie's decision to claim it wasn't is proof positive that he feels guilty about it. Like I said, I don't care either way, but don't collect all the African Americans in your group and have them pose for a pre-club picture like there aren't already 30 sorority whores eagerly awaiting complimentary vodka-crans and a well endowed entourage in the VIP section. I don't think his guest list was in any way prejudice, but I do think it was formulated with the intent of getting the attendees on their knees in a time efficient manner and therefore it was bound to be like so...totally...basic.
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