Lance Stephenson Draws Foul By Slapping Himself Because He's Lance Stephenson

I mean that in the best way possible. I fancy myself a casual basketball fan. I know what a pick and roll is. I know what a zone defense is. I can generally tell the difference between a good play and a bad play. With that said, this isn 't 1995 anymore. The days of intense rivalries and gritty hard nosed basketball are over. That leaves limited reasons to watch regular season NBA basketball. If I am not watching the Brooklyn Nets, then I am watching to see the very best players the NBA has to offer or I am watching to see what ridiculous antics NBA players come up with next. Basically I want to see Blake Griffin 'Space Jam' dunking over an entire court of grown men. I want to see Melo putting up 60 points in a losing effort. I want to see Steph Curry dropping 3 balls from Afghanistan. If none of that is happening give me some good old fashioned stupidity. Give me LeBron being carried off with a cramp. Give me JR Smith untying shoes at the free throw line. Give me Russell Westbrook and Dwyane Wade dressing like full on lady men. Give me pretty much anything Lance Stephenson is offering, including slapping himself in his own face.

Some might say Lance is making a mockery of the game. That is a disingenuous statement. NBA basketball already is a mockery. People flopping all over the place. Hitting the ground on little, if any, contact in the paint. I call this move by Stephenson gamesmanship. I mean technically he's not flopping, right? Any NBA player who catches a slap to the face mid game is going down. Lance is just grabbing his dick right in the face of authority. Can't fine him for that. I saw contact. When you are a little kid playing a game of "stop hitting yourself" do we blame the person that's forced to hit themselves? That's what I thought. 

Anyway, I will take Lance Stephenson's antics every single day of the regular season. I can wait until the playoffs start to appreciate good basketball, and frown upon child like shenanigans like this. You almost have to respect his ability to ignore social stigmas. Just Lance being Lance, and let's be honest, that in itself is more entertaining than your average NBA regular season game.