Landon Donovan's Opinion On Jurgen Klinsmann Will NEVER Hold Any Water

Here is your disclaimer: I know nothing about soccer. I have no idea how good, or how bad, Jurgen Klinsmann is doing as coach of the US Men's National Team. All I know is that if he shows up to the World Cup every 4 years, wins a game or two, and gets the USMNT into the elimination round then I automatically assume that he's the best coach ever. I may be wrong, and if we are being honest, I probably am wrong. However, the only person on this planet that doesn't have the right to tell me I'm wrong is the most infamously cut player during Jurgen Klinsmann's tenure. That's not to say that Landon Donovan is a terrible analyst. He may be great analyst. Hell, as long as he says the words "pitch" and "futbol" a lot than I already assume he knows exactly what he's talking about. As long as what he's talking about isn't the guy that told him he was no longer good enough to play international soccer.

This isn't even Landon Donovan's fault. What the fuck ESPN? Why are you asking Landon Donavan about Jurgen Klinsmann? Clearly you didn't care about the answer to that question enough to ask an unbiased party. This would be like an ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend asking you for a scouting report on her as a person. Chances are she wouldn't grade out as first round draft pick. That's not your fault. It's impossible to be objective about someone that you think has wronged you. It's the same reason we have judges to give people sentences instead of just asking the victim what punishment they see as fit. How many people actually like the boss that fired them? Does that automatically mean that he was a bad boss, or does it mean that people have a hard time setting aside their true feelings for people when judging their work?

I'll say this, Landon Donovan's voice is partly to blame. He just sounds bitter. The intonation in his voice always makes it sound like he's complaining, no matter what he is talking about. Every time he ends a sentence I expect it to be followed by one of those big, drawn out, excessive sighs that girls tend to do when they don't get what they want. He could be breaking down the play-by-play of a game that the United States wasn't even playing in, and I would still instinctually feel the need to say "shut up Landon, fucking get over it". I know, it's not fair, but every time Landon Donovan has a negative opinion on United States soccer I am just going to assume that it's based in anything, and everything, other than fact.