Larry Bird States What We All Already Knew; Michael Jordan Could Currently Beat Him 1-On-1

Larry Brown Sports- Larry Bird is one of the greatest basketball players of all time and rarely conceded anything on the court. The Hall of Famer is 58 now, and he admits that former rival Michael Jordan could take him one-on-one. Check that, he says MJ would “kill” him on the court now.

“I hate to admit this, but he’d kill me,” Bird said on “The Dan Patrick Show” Monday. “I’m 40 pounds more then when I played. I’m broken down. I really don’t care like I used to. I have a fight in me but it’s not the fight that I once had, but it’d be a pretty close game.”


Leave it to Larry Bird to wait until he's a crippled old white man with a literal dad bod to finally concede that potentially the best basketball player of all time could beat him one on one. You almost got to respect Bird's stubbornness in regards to his own talent. Unfortunately, he waited until there was no longer any doubt to who the superior player was to come clean. Oh yeah Larry? You don't say? The black all-time great basketball player is currently better than the white all-time great basketball player? As if that were up for debate. I could have told you in the prime of their careers that Larry Bird would be 40 pounds heavier in 2015 and that Michael Jordan would look like he's one super active summer away from game shape. That's just how it works. MJ has got the good genes Larry, and by good genes I mean he is African American. 

Black people just age better than white people. That's not a racist statement or a racist stereotype, it's a racial observation. I can barely tell the difference between a 30 year old black man and a 50 year old black man, and if they are bald you can fucking forget about it. Black don't crack baby. My college roommate is 29 and he's one shave away from getting carded at an 18-and-over club. You could throw a Kangol hat on LL Cool J tomorrow and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between his 45 year old ass and the guy that wrote 'Momma Said Knock You Out'. Stacey Dash is 46. Halle Berry is 47. Gabrielle Union is 40. If those three weren't famous and you threw them in a bar tomorrow you would have 23 year olds buying them vodka-red bulls.  Pharrell Williams looks like he's 12 years old. Dude is FORTY. Larry Bird can't get out of bed without cracking every bone in his body. If he left the floor to take a jump shot his ankles would explode into a cloud of dust upon impact. Jordan wins by default. This is one case where someone's race matters, because people of color have found that fountain of youth, and there ain't no damn way they are giving us it's whereabouts.