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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Larry David Thinks He Would Be Great For Jets Coordinator Job, And I Couldn't Agree More

1/8/2015

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http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/eye-on-football/24942276/larry-david-wants-to-be-jets-offensive-coordinator

CBSSports- Either Larry David thinks very highly of his abilities to coach up a football team, or he figures that the bar has been set so low in recent years by the likes of Brian Schottenheimer, Tony Sparano and Marty Mornhinweg, that the Jets wouldn't be any worse off if they hired him to coordinate up the offense.

Either way, David, who was the co-creator of Seinfeld and the man behind Curb Your Enthusiasm, explained to Howard Stern why he's qualified for the job.

Murphy's Law; Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Nobody embraces that ideology more than the New York Jets. It's not just a mindset, its a lifestyle, and the Jets have basically perfected it. You could bring in Vince Lombardi tomorrow and it wouldn't change the trajectory of the Jets' fortunes. That's why you have to embrace the chaos. Who better to embrace chaos than the creator of 'Seinfeld' and 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'? Two shows that turn generic, everyday situations into a chore. Shows that turn social awkwardness into the norm. No one is more aware of every intricacy of social mannerisms than Larry David. If one of main characteristics of being a successful NFL coordinator is attention to detail, than Larry David has it in spades.
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You wanna talk about a seamless transition? They should have hired Larry David as the head coach yesterday. Rex Ryan has basically been doing his best George Costanza impersonation for the last five years. Franchise is marred by mediocrity? Fuck it, predict a Super Bowl appearance. Lost by 30 to the Bills? Everything is fine. Everyone is still trying really hard. Make foot fetish videos with the wife? Eh, just treat it like it's normal, and everyone will forget about it. It's not lying if you believe it, right? Who better to take the reigns of a team whose attitude doesn't parallel reality than someone that has never met a social stigma he couldn't systematically reverse. Tired of coach speak? Larry David has never been shy with his opinions. Tired of Rex's defensive mentality? I can promise you that Larry David is the most 'offensive' coach you could possibly hire. If this team needs a change in culture from the player friendly confines of a Rex Ryan locker room, who better to do it than the social assassin? That's about as far as you can possibly get from hiring a people person.
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The Jets most glaring problem the last few years has been an obvious disconnect between coach and quarterback. With Geno Smith still on the roster, and Jameis Winston prone to doing anything and everything to drop his draft stock out of the top 5, the Jets are all but guaranteed to be starting an erratic, unpredictable quarterback. If their is anyone that has a history of successfully reigning in an enigmatic, anamolous 'Black' man, it is Larry David. After all, he did spend years working with Leon. If Leon had all the athletic ability in the world, and about half the brain cells, the personalities of he and Jameis would practically be indiscernible. If there is anyone that can teach a old balding white man how to relate to the darker demographic it is Leon. Need I say more...
Plus, if we are going to give credence to the elephant in the room, it can't get worse, right? It takes someone of great character to align themselves with something as ugly as the Jets' offense. It there is one thing that goes without question, it is that Larry David is absolutely a character.
Ep. 78: Clip - Larry on… Integrity
We will, however, hafta work on his sideline etiquette...
He doesn't exactly have the clout of Mike Tomlin yet...
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