Let Me Give You A Little Insight On The Pictures From Johnny Football's Visit Back To Texas A&M
Ready? I am about to provide a little clarity on how Johnny Football's weekend back at Texas A&M went, and I am pretty confident you can take this as gospel. See all the girl's he's pictured with that are undoubtedly not his girlfriend? You can assume he had like super awesome sex with every last one of them. See the silly smirk across his face while the one girl kisses his cheek, or the ridiculous plastic chain around his neck? You can assume that stint at rehab, at least for one weekend, was a thing of the past. There's no picture of his sleeping arrangements, but you can assume that he either woke up in a stranger's bed or on a buddies couch with a massive hangover, and an undying thirst for a boozy brunch. No, I wasn't there, nor do I have any connections to Johnny Manziel. I do, however, know that when you go back to college you are basically in college again. For me that means a really ugly Monday morning, but for Johnny Manziel that means about 1,000 different stories revolving around alcohol, pussy, and possible drug use. I am not saying that he can't shake the party boy image that has haunted him throughout his relatively short NFL career, though I do have my doubts. I am saying that you can't cage a tiger then throw him back into the wild and not expect him to rely on his natural instincts. I am not sure what Johnny Manziel's instincts are, but much like every other college student, Johnny Football's instincts are to drink and fuck everything with a campus-wise radius.
Relationship be damned. Did you really think it was going to work out with the 22 year old entitled brat anyway? Johnny Manziel is basically dating the female version of his college self. Let's consider it a blessing that he probably let half the female student body at Texas A&M touch his penis this past weekend. The sooner he is single the better. That crazy broad, that he was arguing with on the side of the road, is like soooooo college that Johnny Football can never really change while he's still with her. Rehab? Come on now, if you didn't realize that was a publicity stunt then ironically you've probably been drinking too much. Plus, visits back to the place where you spent your glory years are like trips to Vegas. That shit stays on campus. I don't care how much he drank this weekend, he would still get a sobriety chip from me. If the Browns, or anyone else for that matter, were so concerned with Johnny Football staying clean, they would have done everything in their power to keep him from returning to the place where he used to get down and dirty.
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