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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Looks Like Cameron Jordan Is Enjoying That Fat Contract He Got Last Offseason

1/26/2016

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Picture
Picture
TMZ-  Check out the $35,000 gold chain Jordan picked up from Avianne & Co. in NYC -- a 14 karat yellow gold chain that weighs in at 1 kilo!!
 

We spoke with Joe Avianne who tells us, "Cameron wanted to buy himself a fat gold chain to celebrate his 10 sacks this season ... as soon as I showed him that piece he said he had to get it."

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Jesus Christ Cam, I understand trying to enjoy the fruits of your labor, but do you have to walk around with a women's dumbbell around your neck? That can't be good for posture. In terms of weight alone, the fucking guy is rocking an entire jewelry store heist. If that chain was encrusted with diamonds it would have killed half of Africa to manufacture it. That's enough gold to get Simon's attention in 'Die Hard With A Vengeance'. 'City Slickers 3' is just going to be Billy Crystal and the gang hunting down Cameron Jordan's jewelry box. It looks like a fucking boa constrictor compromised entirely of metal links. It's so goddamn big that it even looks oversized when draped across the chest of a 6'4, 290 pound NFL defensive end. What weight class does something have to hit before it stops being viewed as an accessory? I can't even call it a necklace, because I'm afraid it'll jump over his head and beat my ass for insulting it. Hey, I am happy for Cameron Jordan. Despite being on the worst defense in NFL history he actually managed to prove his contract was a worthy investment. I can't say the same for his chain, but let's just hope that it's prolonged use doesn't cause him health problems in the future. You know, like his old buddy Junior Galette.....
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