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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Looks Like Things Are Going Just Swimmingly For Olympic Tourists In Rio So Far...

8/3/2016

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What awaits athletes and spectators in Rio...#Olympics pic.twitter.com/1kCG1ynTWq

— BLACK ADAM SCHEFTER (@B1ackSchefter) August 2, 2016
Picture

I am not going to go as far as saying that every person that decided to travel to Rio to watch the Olympic Games live without being paid by an employer to do so deserves nothing but bad things to happen to them. That would be ridiculous. I will say that every person that decided to travel to Rio to watch the Olympic Games without being paid by an employer to do so and decided to dress the part when they got there has nothing to complain about once bad things inevitably do happen to them.

I'm not so much concerned that people are getting pickpocketed in Brazil as I am with the people that are basically asking to get pickpocketed in Brazil. Jesus guys (and gals), why don't you just ditch the subtlety and paint a target on your back? The obnoxiously large backpack that looks like it was borrowed from the paranoid kid in 5th grade that brought every single one of his books home from school just in case? Target. The handbag that's big enough to smuggle a little Brazilian boy through customs? Target. A light turquoise shirt and all white pants? Target. The wallet hanging out the side of a moving bus? Target. If Brazil had real law enforcement that was actively trying to catch thieves they would model themselves after the victims in this video. That's why I can't feel bad for the people getting bullied for their possessions by civilians. From the looks of things the entire purpose of their trip was to get bullied. I don't have a criminal bone in my body and even I can't definitively tell you that I wouldn't try to steal the last guy's wallet, so I'll be damned if I am going to criticize a bunch of teens - that don't have the resources necessarily to meet the 'Dunkin' Donuts' dress code - for pancaking his ass into the upside down turtle position. I don't mean to get proverbial here, but the latter half of "when in Rome..." isn't "...do as vulnerable, insufferable tourists do".
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