Lucky Whitehead Broke His Foot In Jets' Camp, And Desperately Needs A Name Change

Bowles: WR Lucky Whitehead suffered broken foot. Whether surgery is required is TBD. Will be out for an extended period of time. https://t.co/ksmtFLl8RE

— New York Jets (@nyjets) August 15, 2017

​July 17: Whitehead took to Instagram to announce his dog had been stolen and held for ransom. A rapper by the name of Boogotti Kasino had Whitehead’s dog but claimed he wasn’t holding it for ransom. He returned the dog the next day.

July 24: Virginia Police announced that it had issued a warrant for Whitehead’s arrest for shoplifting.

July 24: The Cowboys release Whitehead following the announcement.

July 25: Virginia Police announce that Whitehead was not the man they were looking for. It was a case of mistaken identity.

August 15: Jets coach Todd Bowles announces that Whitehead suffered a broken foot in practice.

(h/t FTW) 

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Was the fact that Lucky Whitehead got cut for a crime he didn't commit after someone used his personal information not enough of a sign that the dude needed some new personal information? I'm not a big believer in omens, but after having that rough of a month could switching your nickname to literally anything even slightly less ironic really hurt? At his point, he should just change things up so that he doesn't have to go on the internet and see people that somehow think they are original make the same nauseatingly repetitive joke over and over again.

If I were him I would just cut ties with all of my most attention-worthy characteristics. It's not that I think doing so will end help his streak of head scratching misfortune, but at least if it continues it won't be attached to the name that now universally serves as a paradox. As a kick returner on a talentless wasteland of a roster he's just forgettable enough to get away with shaving his dreads, creating a brand new government alias, and having his next couple of seemingly inevitable unfortunate circumstances fly under the radar on a (potentially) winless team. At least that's what I would do as a luckless 'Lucky' in a world in which everyone with an online presence thinks they are a comedian.